Hello Family

We are right in the middle of Donna and Bob's visit.  In 3 weeks they go back to Cleveland.  I feel like we haven't done everything we wanted to, but we have packed in a lot of fun during the time they have been here. 

David was able to come up for a few days to play golf with Tony and Bob and to go with us to Charlotte for Owen's first birthday.  

As always, when two Swegle's are playing golf, the "3 Men and a Bond" trophy is up for grabs.  It has been with us for quite some time and I would be very disappointed to be looking at an empty space  near the fireplace if Tony lost it to David.  

Happily, experience, skill and perseverance won the day and by one stroke, the trophy is still with us.  

While "the guys" are on the links, Donna and I continue to massage the economy.  We found a boutique called "Mermaid's Cove," and bought a few "necessities!"  We met a salesperson named Jessica and were talking to her about tourists and how people often don't realize how what they are wearing makes them look.  Naturally, the conversation drifted to Wal-Mart and the crazy get-ups people have been seen in while shopping there.    I told her that I used to work in an Emergency Room and some of the outfits I saw there were outrageous as well.  She said, "how funny," my father works in an Emergency Room.  Earlier in the conversation, she told us that she used to work at Compass Pointe as a sales assistant.  Suddenly, it clicked.  Jessica is the daughter of my favorite Novant charge nurse, Richard.  He told me once that his daughter worked at Compass Pointe when he found out we lived here, but I didn't realize she had moved to another job.  Jessica, Donna and I laughed about the coincidence and I wrote him a quick, "luv you/miss you" note.  

Donna and I started the day at my breathing test doctor's appointment.  Quite a  few blogs ago, I described what a breathing test is, but I had forgotten how much it takes out of you.  It makes me breathe even harder after it's over and just makes me tired in general.  I go back on Monday for results.  I still feel like I am in "explore" mode when it comes to all of this health stuff.  We have made some discoveries, but no one is sayings, "OK, here are next steps."   It is, indeed, frustrating. 

After a quick lunch and more boutiquing, we met the guys at Latitudes (the golf course restaurant) for dinner.  What fun we had listening the the details of the golf match and sharing our shopping stories.  Hey, when you buy something at 60% off, you brag about it!!

Coming up, Charlotte tomorrow for Owen's birthday, a trip to Fayetteville to see a military museum, Valentine's Day at the Inlet Restaurant and a trip to Cloud 9--a rooftop bar that gives you an incredible view of the city.  

David took over cooking duty and made us "Blackbeard's Petticoat," 

a crab, vegetable and pasta dish.  YUM

Tony chows down on BBQ at a "food truck"

Tony tees off on the last hole--getting ready to re-claim the trophy

Bob, Tony and David

Tony wears his, "3 Men and a Bond" golf shirt presented by David for

 Christmas and proudly holds the trophy--it's coming back to our living room!

New!

It's always fun to get something new!  As I have been saying in previous blogs, we've been spending more time on the lanai since we had it enclosed.  The only problem with that was the furniture we had wasn't comfortable.  

Yesterday, our new lanai chairs were delivered and they are beautiful.  Tony spent most of the day putting them together and I'm sure he has sore muscles today.  

We are 99% finished with "the look."  I kept my red chair out there because it rocks and is so comfortable.  We also have red accents, so for now, it stays.  We have to move a few things around but it is head and shoulders above what it was.  I see a lot more time out there in our future.

Check out "the look."

Tony had some fun with the box and Dixie!

The first chair!!

All done!

Ta Da!  "The look!"

It's All About The Bows

It's no surprise that women like to look good.  It makes them feel better about themselves.  It increases their self confidence.  So, we take Dixie to the "spa" once a month for a haircut, eyelash cut, tail trim, coat conditioner and in general beauty treatment.  

Yesterday was a busy day for all of us.  Tony and Bob went golfing, Donna and I went shopping in Southport and Dixie had her spa day.  

Donna and I had lunch in Leland and then picked Dixie up.  She was SO cute.  They put red bows in her hair with little paws on them.  She always looks 5 pounds lighter after the spa.

Donna and Bob often shake their heads about Dixie and Tony.  When we lived in Strongsville, they had dogs and Tony was typically ambivalent about them.  "They are dogs," he would say.  Donna and her sister, Rose, called Tony, "The Tin Man," because he would not fawn over their dogs or show them lots of love.  He would pet them, but that's about it.  Seeing Tony now, with Dixie, they just don't get the about face.  I often say that during the Strongsville days, he was protecting my allergies to dogs when he interacted with their dogs.  Most dogs make me sneeze and "clog" up and when we went to see our sister in law in Florida who raises at least 5 Goldens at a time, I went into anaphylactic shock.  No fun.  But, Tony loves Dixie and after the spa treatment, who wouldn't?  The Tin Man has retired!

  Enjoy the "spa-d" Dixie:

Her head always looks so big after Spa day!

Red Paw Bows....how cute

"I'm ready for my close up...."

And....she's FLUFFY!!!

We all did have a fun day.  The guys played a round of golf, even though it was chilly.   Donna and I did our thing and found some good, "in between seasons" bargains.  

We also found a nice Italian restaurant just outside of Southport that had very good food. 

Southport is a favorite of mine.  It's a water/tourist town.  It's right on the water, has all kinds of trendy boutiques and cheesy tourist "tee shirt" places.  Some of my most fun memories are of being in Southport.  Of course, it's a zoo during the tourist season, but we enjoy it.  They, too, have an art walk, just like Wilmington, and one of our neighbors has exhibited her work in the museum there.  

My skin treatments continue and I will be seeing a new doctor in February--a Pulmonologist to determine why my body is not making enough red blood cells to assist with regular breathing.  And, of course, there is yet another CAT scan in my future.  It's nice to know that I am keeping the medical profession in North Carolina alive!

David will be coming up in February to get in a round of golf with Tony and Bob and then the three of us are going to Charlotte for Owen's first birthday.  

I am so glad Donna and Bob are back.  We will be celebrating Tony's 72nd birthday in February.  Geez, he really did rob the cradle!!

It's always fun to be with Donna and Bob

As always, time is going quickly by.  There are days when I want to stop time and just enjoy the same moment over and over again.  It's usually when Tony, Dixie and I are on the lanai.  That has become my sanctuary, my place of peace and I love being there.  

More Charlotte Christmas

I had some problems uploading pictures from Christmas that seem to  have cleared up, so I am adding a "part 2" to our Charlotte Christmas blog. 

I can't say often enough what a fun time we had.  Having three active boys in the house is loud and fast moving.  Don't expect them to hold still for a hug or to sit on your lap for very long.  They have things to do and places to go.  They like to play tricks, giggle, jump on the couch and watch football.  

Tony can still entertain them with his non-sense stories and Coleton is starting to make up his own.  Just like Ben and Sam at that age, they still laugh when someone says, "butt," and laugh even more when they say it.  

And, just like Alex, Owen can hold his own with Coleton and Anthony.  He may be small, but he has a mind of his own.  He knows which toys are his and likes the ones that make the most noise.  Yep, he's a Swegle boy!

So, enjoy more photos of our time in Charlotte:

Papa tells Anthony and Coleton his newest non-sense story

Owen--not happy at this point

Dixie, lounging on the window sill watching for squirrels

Christmas in Charlotte

After our quiet Christmas, we went to Charlotte to see Tony, Marie and the kids.   Our visit was anything  but quiet and we enjoyed every minute of it!

We got some great gifts, had fantastic food and spent quality time with the kids.  Tony and Marie got us a gift certificate to a bed and breakfast in Beaufort, South Carolina, so we will be able to connect with my cousin, Dale Diane and her husband Gary, as that is where they live.  I am looking forward to that. 

We got Anthony some building blocks and they were the hit of the visit.  We all took turns building castles and towers but the most fun was when Anthony and Coleton would knock mine over.  They promised me over and over that they wouldn't, but then had me close my eyes.  As soon as I did--BOOM, the towers came down and you could hear high pitched giggles all over the house.   

We watched Coleton ride his bike with  no training wheels and fed Owen, who will probably be a chef when he grows up.   He eats with a passion, swinging his arms over his head and opens his mouth as soon as it is empty looking to refill whatever he is having.   And, while he is doing all of this, he is making humming, happy noises.  He is not happy when the food is gone and lets you know in no uncertain terms that he wants more.  

Each boy has his own personality, and they are all strong and smart and happy.  They look alike, but yet, different and I can see them being a close group of brothers, just like their father and Uncle, David.  

We did a fun thing--Tony Jr ordered food from "Nothing But Noodles," and we took the food to the Charlotte airport in the observation area.  We watching planes depart and just like Papa, the boys had their eyes in the skies and jumped up and down and waved as the planes thundered by.  There is aviation in their genes and you can see it when they hear the sound of an airplane in the sky.  They all stop--Tony, Tony Jr, Coleton and Anthony and look to the sky to see what type of airplane is moving across the sky.  Tony used to tell the kids that he could see the color of the pilot's eyes and they believed him.  Tony is so connected to aviation, I actually believe that he could.  

Dixie also enjoyed our visit.  She spent a lot of time sitting on the window sill in the family room watching for squirrels.  She harassed Tyson and chewed on Owen's teething toys whenever she could grab one.  

Tony and Marie had another beautiful tree this year.  It was 12 feet tall and 8 feet wide with huge ornaments and pretty blue Poinsettia like paper flowers.  It had to be tethered to the windows and covered part of the fireplace.  

It was a nice visit and it was nice to see our children happy and healthy.

Enjoy some of our highlights:

In front of the huge tree..Owen, Tony, 

Coleton, Anthony, Me, Dixie

Anthony playing with the blocks we 

got him...I mean, Santa got him

Mr. Coleton with cool glasses and me

Owen, showing leg with me, 

Coleton and Tyson...12 years old.

Me and little guy, Owen at the airport, 

watching planes land

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!!!!

I hope that everyone had a nice Christmas and enjoyed the spirit of the season.

Tony, Dixie and I had a great Christmas!  Especially Dixie!  She really got into getting stuff out of her stocking and playing with her new toys.  

We celebrate small since the kids are gone and especially this year since we got the new car, but we celebrate well.  Our gifts are fun and add to our lifestyle.  

This year, Santa brought us a lava lamp!  When we were Christmas shopping for our niece, Emma, we saw some lava lamps.  We started talking about the lava lamp heyday and the fact that we didn't have one when they were popular.  So, Santa must have heard us--he brought one that matches the twinkle lights we have on the lanai.  Sitting out there, enjoying music and the lights and now the lamp will add more fun to our evenings.  

David sent us some pictures of Alex surrounded by presents and one with her sitting at her new "big girl" table.  Tony sent one of the kids with Santa, all smiles and happy.  They are growing quickly and are all beautiful.  I hope Ben, Sam, Ellie and Zach enjoyed their Christmas too.  Ellie will be having a birthday in a few days and we hope she enjoys our gift.

We are going to have a wonderful dinner and then try out our lamp.  As always, Christmas was a wonderful day and I hope it is followed by a happy and healthy new year. 

Here are some highlights of our day:

Dixie's Stocking with new toys

Oh boy, a new chew toy

Dixie got Daddy a gift certificate

 for his next grooming (haircut)

Dixie stayed close just in case she got more gifts

Our lava lamp and my Christmas card

On Marriage

On May 12, 2019, Tony and I will have been married for 30 years.  Think about that...30 years.  WOW.  That is a lifetime for some, but for us, it is half a life time.  Each of us came to our marriage with a previous marriage and children.  I have often said that I had the "accidental career," meaning that I didn't start out to be what I ended up to be.  I think, to some degree, we had the accidental marriage.  We were lonely.  We were looking for something--but at that point, I don't think either of us knew what that something was.  We knew we didn't want to be alone anymore.  We knew that our children would be shaped by our decisions and we knew that what we could be together could be stronger than what we could be alone.  But, did we know it would work?  Did we know it would last, I'm not sure we did.  

Marriage is hard.  It's harder with children from previous marriages.  If you want it to work, you have to work at it.  It's not the Brady bunch.  It's dealing with day to day stuff day to day.  

There are days when you think you will never be on the same page.  Why do your children do this, when my child does that?  Which is right?  Which is tolerable and for how long?  You are each right, protecting your children at all costs, but you have to make sure that the cost is not each other.  

Years ago, I read a book by George Burns, called, "Gracie."  It's about his wife, Gracie Allen and their marriage.  They were together 24 x 7 for more than 40 years.  They performed on stage, on radio, on TV.  And then, they went home and were married.  

They went through some really hard times.  George cheated on Gracie, not because he was unhappy, but because the opportunity was there and he could, because he was a "star,"  and that's what male stars did at that time.   They struggled with having children and finally adopted two children from a local Catholic Charity.   They had their ups and downs, but according to George, their marriage came down to one thing--"is the soup hot enough for you?"

It's a simple phrase that Gracie would ask him, no matter what was happening.  She would make him soup for dinner.  She didn't yell at him, she didn't complain, she didn't cry about his affairs.  To Gracie, she was married, and she continued in her role as a wife.  She cooked for him.  She asked if the soup was hot enough for him.  

To me, that was a generous question.  She was asking if he was OK.  She was asking if he saw her as a good wife.  She was reminding him that no matter what they went through, the basics of marriage are to care about each other--and this was her way of caring.  She made his favorite soup and wanted to make sure it was good--that it met his expectations.  I'm really sure I would not be as gracious as Gracie in that circumstance!

Moving to North Caroline allowed us to find our "soup."  The children have their own lives and we have ours--intertwined, but lightly.    We sit on the lanai at the end of the day and just talk.  We joke with each other, we talk about serious things, we sing, we dance and we laugh--and sometimes we even argue.  We talk about times when we didn't know each other and we talk about what we have now.  We are a soft place to land for each other when the world wants to knock us down into a rocky place.  

Marriage is a hard thing--if it's the first, second or third--it takes work.  You have to want it to succeed and you have to want it with the person you are with.  

But, if you can laugh at each other--if you can laugh with each other--if you can support each other--if you can enjoy your times together, you will be fine.

Thankfully, we are fine.  We will continue our evenings on the lanai with Dixie and enjoy the time we have together.  

"Tony, is the soup hot enough for you?"  Oh wait...YOU made the soup!!!