A Summery Christmas

Well, another Christmas is over.  We hope everyone enjoyed the holiday with family.  We had a nice Christmas, but I am SO sick.  I've had what we call the "Carolina Crud," for more than a week and it's not going anywhere.  

We did a video call with David, Brenda and the girls in the morning and a facetime call with Tony, Marie and the boys in the afternoon.  Tony is on his way to Charlotte to spend a day with them.  I told Marie if I came with him I would sleep all the way there, the whole time I was there and then all the way back.  Plus, I'd leave germs all over the house.  So, Dixie and I are just hanging around in the bedroom watching Dr. Phil.  

Christmas day was beautiful.  It was 72 degrees and sunny.  We've been down here for 10 years and I still laugh when I see lights on palm trees.  We are going to go to Leland Lights when I feel better.  It's a display of Christmas themed life sized figures illuminated with Christmas lights.  There is a path to walk through the display and a train if you don't want to walk.  I'm looking forward to going. 

I'm still writing for three papers and planning the Awards Banquet for Cape Fear Voices in March.  On January 7, I'll be back at Leland Middle School to help with the journalism club.  I'm really enjoying that interaction and we have picked up some new members.  The last time I was there, the yearbook committee came to take our picture.  It's been 50 years since I've been in a yearbook. 

Dixie had a good Christmas.  She got a new chew toy.  It's a bacon scented bone that she really likes.  She is missing Tony already.  She's been going to the door in the laundry room that leads to the garage.   She'll sit in front of it for awhile and when he doesn't come in, she comes back and lays on his side of the bed.   This morning as he was packing, she was sitting on his shoes.  Her rationale seemed to be, if he didn't have shoes, he wouldn't go.  She's figured out that when she sits in his suitcase, he leaves anyway. 

We watched the disappointing Browns game last night.  Baker wasn't on his game, but neither were the refs.  They miss 2 clear holding calls and a facemask violation.  Once again we get to say, this just wasn't our year. 

Tony gave me a wonderful gift.

He painted a picture of me.  He calls it My Lady in Red.  I love it, I look so hauty!  He is a wonderful artist.   

Dixie misses Daddy!

We hope 2022 is good to everyone!

 

When 2021 Comes to an End

Well, here we are again, at year's end.  Presents are ordered and shipped, Ellie's birthday gifts are on their way and all we need to do now is wait for Christmas.  

A few days ago, I had high tea with some neighbor ladies.  We had a good time and I felt very upper crust!!  We hope to make this a monthly tradition based on our heritages--Scottish, German, French and English. 

On Thursday, I'm going to the Leland Cultural Arts Center.  My first assignment with Coastal Buzz magazine is about senior health and we decided to do something on dance lessons, specifically, line dancing and swing and the benefits to seniors.  Dancing is good for cardio, balance and all kinds of other stuff.  Senior dance is offered at Leland Cultural Arts Center so I will be interviewing some of the dance instructors and students.  

On Friday, I go back to Leland Middle School to work with the journalism students.  I went with the Teen Scene editor to a new middle school last week and we will be rolling our journalism program out to them.  That makes us the school magazine for all of the middle schools in Brunswick County. 

I continue to work on the Awards Banquet in March.  I have a ton of stuff to do and a short period of time to do it in. 

My second article will appear in Leland Magazine in 3 weeks and my dance article is due January 5.  Thank goodness that the papers/magazines that I contribute to all have different print deadlines.  

Dixie has been good.   She hasn't escaped and seems to know that she did something wrong.  She went for her spa day today and smells a lot better than she did.

We are off to Charlotte on December 26.  I'm sure it will be a loud, but happy visit.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas.  PS....I haven't even started my Christmas  cards yet!!

 

 

It Just Wasn't My Weekend!

 

Well, as if my cat scan drama wasn't enough, I had an even better adventure on 
Sunday evening.  

Tony always decorates the large pine tree at the back of our house.  He needs a 12 foot ladder and several strings of lights, but he does it and he does it for me.  I love the Christmas lights and I love seeing the tree all lit up against a dark sky.  

Tony will be 75 this year (actually in a few months) and I gently suggested that he didn't need to climb up a 12 foot ladder to decorate the tree, but he disagreed and made it happen.  The lights are beautiful.

Unfortunately, the cord that connects the lights to the power source inside is a bit wide.  You can't really shut the outside door to the lanai so we just gently, put the door against the cord.

Well, Sunday, we did that and were enjoying the lights.  Tony did a wonderful Mexican dinner and at around 8:30 p.m., I was washing dishes and cleaning up.  Tony came in and told me that Dixie was gone.  The outside door to the lanai was wide open and she wasn't in the house.  

I ran out into our backyard and saw her next door in the Zeno's yard, looking at their lights.  I called to her in a friendly voice that she needed to come home because Daddy had treats for her.  Didn't work.  The little bitch (literally) went running through Zeno's back yard to the front.  I was in hot pursuit, but she was faster than I was.

She ran from that yard to the neighbor next door to the Zeno's who have dogs.  That's where her "boyfriend," Chance used to live, so she is quite familiar with the house.  I was close behind her, when she skittered across their lawn and on to the porch of Chris and David, 4 or 5 houses away from us.  They had their porch light on and I was within 2 feet of grabbing her.  She was barking and I was telling her to stay.  Well, that didn't work.  She jumped from the porch onto the front lawn.

I took the steps and was going to go across and cut her off.  Well, maybe not.  I missed the bottom step and went sailing across wet grass.  My face hit something--not sure if it was a lawn ornament or a light, but boy did it hurt.  I got up to grab her again and the wet grass took me down a second time.  

All of a sudden, I heard one of our neighbor's say, "I have her."  I looked up from the grass and saw that Dixie was in the arms of the neighbor and not going anywhere from there.  

I was one, hurt mess.  I have a cut above and below my left eye with scrape marks going down my cheek to my chin.  I am bruised and walk gingerly as I think I twisted my left knee.  

But, Dixie is safe.  I was afraid that she would run into the street.  Being as small as she is, a car going down the street might not see her.  I told her I was going to put her up for sale, but Tony objected.  I suggested putting him up for sale, but I couldn't get any takers!  (Ok, I wasn't serious!!) 

Tonight, we went to the Christmas Party for the Golf Course where Tony works.  It was a nice event.  Dinner, drinks and dancing.  Well, I couldn't dance but it was nice to talk to people and meet Tony's co-workers.  

Tomorrow, I go for the cat scan in the Brunswick location.  Thank goodness. 

Tony was right, it just wasn't my weekend. 

When Things Don't Turn Out

 

There have been many things in my life that haven't turned out the way I thought they would.  I got engaged to my high school sweetheart and later found out what kind of person he was.  I married a man 28 years my senior and had a wonderful life for 4 years.  We had Jenna and then he was gone.  I loved people who couldn't be loved; or in the way I wanted, anyway.  I met Tony  and although things have worked out, the early years were certainly not how I thought they would be and I'm sure he didn't either. 

But while some things turn out in the long run, there are things they stay with you forever.  And those things don't work out--at least without a lot of help.    I am very claustrophobic.  I have been for a very long time.  I freak out when I feel confined or when I feel that things are closing in on me and I can't stop them.  Flashing lights, no breeze going across my face, no room to move.  These are things that haunt me and chase me into my worst fear zone.

That happened today.  I was supposed to have a cat scan to monitor the nodules on my lungs.  I have nodules on my thyroid and on my lungs.  We have to watch them to see if they grow or change or flash to cancer at any given time.  It scares me.  The scheduler that called about the appointment told me that I had to go to the Ogden office to have the scan done.  I asked her to schedule me in my doctor's office in Brunswick Forrest, but she said she was not able to do that and I would have to go to Ogden.  

I have done cat scans before--with help.  The first one was like an MRI and I didn't do it well.  Tony came in and calmed me down and I did it, but I couldn't do it on my own.  The second one was kind of the same, but I knew what to expect, so I was better.  I didn't feel like the machine was this sea monster that was swallowing me up from the depths of hell.  

And so, I had a cat scan scheduled for today.  I went for the appointment confident that I wouldn't have any problem.  Tony waited for me in the lobby and in I went.  I saw a donut shaped machine that was open.  It was different than the one I was used to so I asked questions.  I explained that I didn't do confined spaces very well and the image operator told me that it was going to be a quick process and I would be fine.  I wanted to go in feet first, but she said the machine wasn't equipped to do the cat scan that way.  I laid down on the table and she started to wheel me in.  I was confident that my head was going to be out the other side while the scan was going on.  I was wrong.

The scan operator wheeled me into the machine and stopped with the arc of the machine directly above my head.  Lights went on and started to rotate.  It was hot.  I panicked.  I couldn't do this.  I tried to sit up, just like I did so many years ago when I had a stroke and I was literally forced into an MRI.   The operator did her best to get me out quickly but it was too late.  I was way past panic and into thrashing and ripping the paper up from the tray that you lay in to have the scan completed.  I went into complete melt down.  

It brought back a memory for me.  Years ago, my mother and I had a fight.  Shortly after that, she was washing my hair in the kitchen sink.  I couldn't breathe.  All I could feel was the hot water splashing on my cheeks and into my eyes and I wanted to stand up.  My mother kept pushing my head down so I wouldn't get water and soap all over, but the more she pushed my head into the sink, the worse it got.  She was going to kill me, I thought.  I was going to die.  With all of my strength, I stood up and started pushing her away.  All she could see was water going all over the kitchen and she was not happy.  The more I pushed to stand up, the more she pushed to keep me down.  That stayed with me for a long time.  All I could see was the kitchen sink coming closer and closer to my face and I couldn't breathe.  It was the same today.  The machine seemed to be coming closer and closer to me, with flashing lights and I couldn't stop it.  At some point, my mind stopped being rationale.  I was going to die, I just knew it.  

The scan operator called Tony in to talk me down off of the ledge.  And he did.  Tony gets me.  He knows when I am afraid.  In that Air Traffic Controller calm voice that says, "you are going through a rough patch of air, I will bring you home safely.  He had me breathe and lessen the tension I was feeling.  I closed my eyes on the way home and saw immediately the machine rolling like a drum with lights and odd things tripping across my mind.   I kept my eyes open and held tight to the door handle in case I had to get out quickly.

Hours later, I felt foolish, but still afraid.  I need to have this done.  Why can't I do it?  Lots of people do.  What is wrong with me?

I called my doctor and told his nurse what happened.  They are scheduling me for another scan, but this time in their facility, where I have had it done before--feet first and with my head outside of the machine.  I can do this.  I will do this. But, going forward, I will not accept an appointment unless I know what type of machine I will be interfacing with and how it will affect. me.   

Sometimes, things don't turn out the way you think they will.  But, as long as you find an alternative that works for both sides, it should be ok.