A Time of Fear

I admit, there are things that scare me.  Car accidents, medical bills, losing people I love.  All of that, but yesterday I was scared and it had nothing to do with all of the above. 

I work in a hospital that mainly takes care of teen agers with mental problems.  We have 7 units and they are all not open to visitors without a key.  At around 9:30 a.m., I heard screaming from residents of 3 of our units.  I listened to the walkie talkie but all of a sudden, it went silent. 

About 5 minutes later, one of our nurses came into the lobby and told me to activate the main door opening function.  When I did, 5 police people came running in, all in riot gear.  I quickly asked what was happening and was informed that the makings of a  riot were underway.  

It was a riot, indeed.  It started out as a  fight and escalated to things being broken, doors being kicked in and nurses being hurt.   In all, we had 13 police cars, 20 police personnel, and 2 sheriffs responding to our call.  They shut down the facility and restrained many of the residents.  

My role, as a front line person was to open the door for the police and then open the door to the units that were in distress.  I realized as I opened that door, that they were in riot gear and I was not.  It crossed my mind that there was a small level of danger here, but when all of this is happening, you just put that to the back of your mind.    

After it was all over, I heard members of the team calling out to front line nurses asking if they were OK.  If the nurse didn't answer right away, someone went looking for them.  

I could hear the children--they were angry, I'm not sure about what, but they were a force that had no name, just a mission--to cause as much damage as they could.  

Our front line nurses did what they could, one or two being slightly injured as a result.  Our CEO came in and led the police to the areas in chaos and the nurses were glad about that.  It gave them some level of comfort to know that they were not alone.  

It was over in an hour or so, but time seemed to stand still.  The "children" went back to being residents, the nurses went back to doing their job.  The police left in small groups and all was quiet.   

I went home and watched the 2nd half of a football  game.  I ate dinner.  I did a load of laundry.  But when I crawled into bed, I was shaking and afraid.  The "What If's" were consuming my mind.  It was a time of fear in the day and in my mind.  What has happened to the world that we now have to be afraid of children?  I wish I knew.  I wish I could fix it.  But I can't.  

This is a place that takes good care of children in need.  It changes lives.  Why should the nurses and front line staff experience a time of fear?  All good questions, but questions that could be asked about so many things happening in the world. 

We should never reach for violence first.  But, we do.  We should never aim to hurt others.  But we do.  When will it stop?  When will we live and let live?

As Time Goes By

Every time I look at the last time I posted here, I am amazed by the time that has gone by.   The year is almost over and I don't remember half of it.   I think that much of that has to do with Tony's heart thing that started in August.  He just went for a TEE test, which is basically swallowing a small camera (he was put under) to see if there were blood clots behind his heart. I remember having this test right after I had my stroke and believe me, the recovery was not fun.  I had a sore throat for days.  But, Tony seems to have sailed right through it.  No clots, they just had to shock him back into rhythm.  

David, Brenda and the girls will be here for Thanksgiving.  Brenda is cooking this year.  We will be decorating the tree right after dinner so I am looking forward to that.  I got two new ornaments for them to put on the tree.  David and Tony will be playing golf.  I'm not excited about that, but his doctor said OK, so I am keeping my concern to myself (well, for the most part, anyway.)

I am picking up shifts at work.  I love the money, but not the time.  My usual shift is every other Saturday and Sunday from 6:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.   Due to staff shortages, they need night coverage which goes till 11:00 p.m.  I told them I couldn't do that, but if it would help, I could cover from 2:30 till 9:30.  We will see.

I am slowly getting used to not having my own car.  I stopped using the seat belt in Tony's car when I drive.  I hate seat belts.  I keep thinking that I'll have an accident and the damn thing will decapitate me.   I can't get used to the rear camera.  I know it's there and I use it when I drive into the garage to see if I have cleared the door, but when I am out, I don't even think about it.   I never had one, so I don't rely on it.  I haven't used the GPS in it either, but I think that will be coming shortly. 

The weather has been getting more and more chilly.  The evenings are crisp and such a relief from those 98+ degree days.  I even watched a Christmas movie on TV the other night.  Must be the weather!

I have started to work on the Cape Fear Voices Awards Banquet again.  It will be April 20 next year.  We've hired the food vendor and the entertainment and we know where we are having it.  So the big stuff is done.  I wrote a story about going home in October that has been very well received.  It is in the top 5 for this month and I received several very nice comments about it.  One man said it was like reading a movie!!  

Dixie will be 11 in January (the 6th) but shows no signs of slowing down.  Oh yeah, she's sleeping more during the day, but can still "toe bite" me and give me a run for my money.  We are so lucky to have her.  She and Tony are still very connected.  He texted me at 3:16 today that he was leaving work.  I told him I knew that because Dixie had been in the laundry room, in front of the garage door barking since 3:10, so I know she was looking for him.   Good that he speaks dog and she speaks daddy.  

Not much else going on.  I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving shared by family and friends.