When Laughter Is In the House

Tony and I laugh. We laugh at "Two and a Half Men," we laugh at the stupid things we do because we are getting older. We laugh at the day's events when we both come home from work. But there is no better laughter in house than when Ben and Sam are over.

We got to have them over today for a few hours while Jon was building new beds for them and Jenna was shopping for sheets. Ben made me laugh. He willingly told me that he had to go to the potty and could do it himself. So he went in and shut the door. Sammy followed behind him going, "Potty, Potty???" but Ben said, "Sam, I need my privacy." And so Sammy waited quietly outside of the closed door. Ben finished up and ran into the "other" living room and proudly pulled down his jeans, showing me his tiny belly and long legs. "Look, Mo Mo," he said in a very excited voice, "I have on super hero under pants." And so he did. Sammy, who always wants to be just like Ben, showed me his diaper.

The next time I laughed was when I gave the kids lunch. I was feeding Sammy some yogurt and Ben was fixated on the TV. "Ben," I said, "eat your yogurt." Ben never took his eyes off of the TV but said to me, "I will, Mo Mo, but I can't go anywhere....I have to wait for Sponge Bob, he'll be back after these messages."

Ben told me about Thomas the Train's number. It's 1. There is a number 1 painted on the sign, so we went through everyone's number. "What is your mommy's number," I asked Ben? "I don't know," he replied. "Your mother's number is 34." I said. "No way," Ben replied. "Well, I asked, "how old do you think Mommy is?" Ben gave this some thought and said, "as old as Ty."

The best laughter came when Papa was home. Each boy, at some point, went to the kitchen door looking for Papa to return from the grocery store. And finally, there he was. Papa...the pilot who unlocked the airplanes, Papa the hero, Papa the entertainment.

Papa bravely got down on the floor with the boys and was the bucking horse, the rolling log, the bridge....anything they wanted. And during all of this...they all laughed. Ben and Sam and Papa. They laughed with the pure joy of being 2 and 4 and being able to push a grown man down to his knees and then on to the floor. They laughed as Papa pulled them over his shoulder and down to the floor. And they laughed as they climbed all over him. And Papa laughed too. It was Papa and his boys playing on the floor and he wouldn't have changed a minute of the time they were here.

Tony and I laugh. We laugh at "Two and a Half Men," but never so much as we do when our two lesser than half men are over. It was a good day.

1 Year Anniversary

A year ago on October 24, 2009, my mother stopped yelling at me. She's been dead since 2006, but in my dreams over and over again, she would implore me, "do something, I don't want you girls to drift apart." She meant my sisters and me--3 people who have very little in common and could literally go years without seeing each other.

But, so I could get a good night's sleep and put my mother to rest, I organized the first sisters lunch. It was uncomfortable at first, but soon the "do you remember when's" started and it turned out to be a good time.

We tried to do it once a month, but got behind in the summer. Today, October 23, 2010, was sisters lunch again. My niece, Sarah joined us from Kent State and put up with lots of teasing and embarrassing jokes--but I think she enjoyed herself.

Next week, we're going to see my nephew, Joe, in a play. Two sister events in two weeks--I think I'm entitled to some extra credit, ma. Keep Fritz awake next time we drift apart!

4:01

I titled this blog 4:01 because of it's meaning to Jenna and Sammy. They were both born at 4:01. Jenna was born on June 7, 1976 at 4:01 a.m. (thanks, Jenna!!) Sammy was born on October 15, 2008 at 4:01 p.m.

Last night we went to Jenna and Jon's to celebrate our little Sammy's birthday. He and Ben look so much older with their new haircuts. I wish they could stay little forever.

Sammy was very social. He went right to Tony and called him "Papa" just like Ben does. Of course, he called me "Papa" and Noreen and Scott to, so I'm guessing Sammy is either really into simplicity ("hey, I'll just call them all the same thing, I know they're going to respond...") or he just hasn't quite figured out genders yet. That's OK, he can call me whatever he wants.

Sammy too, is going to share Ben's and (the real) Papa's passion for airplanes. Sam got a Mickey Mouse airplane from Ben and the pure joy on his face when he held the plane up over his head and said, "Micky flying..." was great to watch.

And so, as Ben said, "Sammy's number is 2 now," we watched our other grandson change right before our eyes. He's keeping up with the big kids now. He says "again" really well and can finally say real words to communicate with us.

Each boy has a special place in my heart--Ben because he was our first grandchild and Sammy because of his Morgan looks. When Jenna has him on her lap, it takes me back 32 years to when my little girl had that same smile and energy.

Happy Birthday, Sammy. Two is a great number for you!

Nature/Nurture

Tony has always been very respectful regarding Jenna's father. He never tried to take over that role and he understands the void that she feels. That is not to say that he is unwilling to fill that void--but that he knows he can't. At best, he can be a substitute--much like I was for David and Tony--but the real thing is the real thing and we all know that.

When Jenna was pregnant with Ben, Tony felt the same way. He talked about Ben calling him "grandpa Tony," reserving the term "grandpa" for Scott--a "real" grandpa. But Ben changed all of that. At one point, the day that Ben was being born, Noreen asked me what I wanted Ben to call me. In reality, I wanted Ben to call me "his favorite", but I settled for whatever he wanted to call me as long as he knew that I loved him and would never let anything hurt him.

But then, there he was....born and in distress. He was being taken to Fairview Hospital and the person in charge of transmitting him from one place to another gave us one shot at taking a picture of Ben in his isolet before being taken away from us. "Be ready and do it quick," he said. And Tony, stepped up to the plate. "I'll take it," he said. And he did. At that moment in time, Ben looked right at him--tubes in his nose, with his big blue eyes, and ready to be taken away. His eyes said, "take my picture, Papa," and Tony did. It remains one of our favorite pictures of Ben.

We had Ben for the weekend--the weekend that Ben said he needed--the vacation away from Sammy. And what a good time we had. We went to the airport and saw airplanes, we went to a block party, we baked cookies. I don't honestly know how Tony and I will get along without Ben. The Ben who opens the refrigerator door, who pushes the "go" button on the dryer....who puts the mail in the mailbox and raises the flag to tell the mailman there is something to pick up. How do Tony and I do this without him?

Ben brought an airplane book with him for this visit. He sat and listened intently as Papa read the book, and even corrected him on some of the passages. We went to the airport and talked about cargo planes and the wind. I watched the two of them sit on the couch and talk about propellers (probably didn't spell that right!!) and the kind of airplanes they like.

I thought of Bill--Jenna's father. He didn't know about airplanes, but I know he would have found common ground to relate to Ben. They would have been friends. But on this day--on this "vacation for Ben," he shared his thoughts and his passion with "Papa." His Papa and it was a beautiful sight to see. Ben and Tony love each other. Ben loves Tony as his "Papa," and doesn't know or care that they don't share blood. And Tony....well, Tony loves Ben as his grandson and he too, doesn't care that they don't share blood. They share love for each other and air planes and the things they do togheter. Bill is Ben nature--his DNA, his looks. Tony is Ben's nurture--the things they share together that Ben will remember. I am in the middle. I am lucky to have loved two men--one that gave me Jenna and one that loves Ben and Sam and me, very, very much.

Jenna and Jon will have a little girl one day. Her nature will be her looks--her nurture will be Jenna and Jon...and she will be a very lucky little girl.