It Just Wasn't My Weekend!

 

Well, as if my cat scan drama wasn't enough, I had an even better adventure on 
Sunday evening.  

Tony always decorates the large pine tree at the back of our house.  He needs a 12 foot ladder and several strings of lights, but he does it and he does it for me.  I love the Christmas lights and I love seeing the tree all lit up against a dark sky.  

Tony will be 75 this year (actually in a few months) and I gently suggested that he didn't need to climb up a 12 foot ladder to decorate the tree, but he disagreed and made it happen.  The lights are beautiful.

Unfortunately, the cord that connects the lights to the power source inside is a bit wide.  You can't really shut the outside door to the lanai so we just gently, put the door against the cord.

Well, Sunday, we did that and were enjoying the lights.  Tony did a wonderful Mexican dinner and at around 8:30 p.m., I was washing dishes and cleaning up.  Tony came in and told me that Dixie was gone.  The outside door to the lanai was wide open and she wasn't in the house.  

I ran out into our backyard and saw her next door in the Zeno's yard, looking at their lights.  I called to her in a friendly voice that she needed to come home because Daddy had treats for her.  Didn't work.  The little bitch (literally) went running through Zeno's back yard to the front.  I was in hot pursuit, but she was faster than I was.

She ran from that yard to the neighbor next door to the Zeno's who have dogs.  That's where her "boyfriend," Chance used to live, so she is quite familiar with the house.  I was close behind her, when she skittered across their lawn and on to the porch of Chris and David, 4 or 5 houses away from us.  They had their porch light on and I was within 2 feet of grabbing her.  She was barking and I was telling her to stay.  Well, that didn't work.  She jumped from the porch onto the front lawn.

I took the steps and was going to go across and cut her off.  Well, maybe not.  I missed the bottom step and went sailing across wet grass.  My face hit something--not sure if it was a lawn ornament or a light, but boy did it hurt.  I got up to grab her again and the wet grass took me down a second time.  

All of a sudden, I heard one of our neighbor's say, "I have her."  I looked up from the grass and saw that Dixie was in the arms of the neighbor and not going anywhere from there.  

I was one, hurt mess.  I have a cut above and below my left eye with scrape marks going down my cheek to my chin.  I am bruised and walk gingerly as I think I twisted my left knee.  

But, Dixie is safe.  I was afraid that she would run into the street.  Being as small as she is, a car going down the street might not see her.  I told her I was going to put her up for sale, but Tony objected.  I suggested putting him up for sale, but I couldn't get any takers!  (Ok, I wasn't serious!!) 

Tonight, we went to the Christmas Party for the Golf Course where Tony works.  It was a nice event.  Dinner, drinks and dancing.  Well, I couldn't dance but it was nice to talk to people and meet Tony's co-workers.  

Tomorrow, I go for the cat scan in the Brunswick location.  Thank goodness. 

Tony was right, it just wasn't my weekend. 

When Things Don't Turn Out

 

There have been many things in my life that haven't turned out the way I thought they would.  I got engaged to my high school sweetheart and later found out what kind of person he was.  I married a man 28 years my senior and had a wonderful life for 4 years.  We had Jenna and then he was gone.  I loved people who couldn't be loved; or in the way I wanted, anyway.  I met Tony  and although things have worked out, the early years were certainly not how I thought they would be and I'm sure he didn't either. 

But while some things turn out in the long run, there are things they stay with you forever.  And those things don't work out--at least without a lot of help.    I am very claustrophobic.  I have been for a very long time.  I freak out when I feel confined or when I feel that things are closing in on me and I can't stop them.  Flashing lights, no breeze going across my face, no room to move.  These are things that haunt me and chase me into my worst fear zone.

That happened today.  I was supposed to have a cat scan to monitor the nodules on my lungs.  I have nodules on my thyroid and on my lungs.  We have to watch them to see if they grow or change or flash to cancer at any given time.  It scares me.  The scheduler that called about the appointment told me that I had to go to the Ogden office to have the scan done.  I asked her to schedule me in my doctor's office in Brunswick Forrest, but she said she was not able to do that and I would have to go to Ogden.  

I have done cat scans before--with help.  The first one was like an MRI and I didn't do it well.  Tony came in and calmed me down and I did it, but I couldn't do it on my own.  The second one was kind of the same, but I knew what to expect, so I was better.  I didn't feel like the machine was this sea monster that was swallowing me up from the depths of hell.  

And so, I had a cat scan scheduled for today.  I went for the appointment confident that I wouldn't have any problem.  Tony waited for me in the lobby and in I went.  I saw a donut shaped machine that was open.  It was different than the one I was used to so I asked questions.  I explained that I didn't do confined spaces very well and the image operator told me that it was going to be a quick process and I would be fine.  I wanted to go in feet first, but she said the machine wasn't equipped to do the cat scan that way.  I laid down on the table and she started to wheel me in.  I was confident that my head was going to be out the other side while the scan was going on.  I was wrong.

The scan operator wheeled me into the machine and stopped with the arc of the machine directly above my head.  Lights went on and started to rotate.  It was hot.  I panicked.  I couldn't do this.  I tried to sit up, just like I did so many years ago when I had a stroke and I was literally forced into an MRI.   The operator did her best to get me out quickly but it was too late.  I was way past panic and into thrashing and ripping the paper up from the tray that you lay in to have the scan completed.  I went into complete melt down.  

It brought back a memory for me.  Years ago, my mother and I had a fight.  Shortly after that, she was washing my hair in the kitchen sink.  I couldn't breathe.  All I could feel was the hot water splashing on my cheeks and into my eyes and I wanted to stand up.  My mother kept pushing my head down so I wouldn't get water and soap all over, but the more she pushed my head into the sink, the worse it got.  She was going to kill me, I thought.  I was going to die.  With all of my strength, I stood up and started pushing her away.  All she could see was water going all over the kitchen and she was not happy.  The more I pushed to stand up, the more she pushed to keep me down.  That stayed with me for a long time.  All I could see was the kitchen sink coming closer and closer to my face and I couldn't breathe.  It was the same today.  The machine seemed to be coming closer and closer to me, with flashing lights and I couldn't stop it.  At some point, my mind stopped being rationale.  I was going to die, I just knew it.  

The scan operator called Tony in to talk me down off of the ledge.  And he did.  Tony gets me.  He knows when I am afraid.  In that Air Traffic Controller calm voice that says, "you are going through a rough patch of air, I will bring you home safely.  He had me breathe and lessen the tension I was feeling.  I closed my eyes on the way home and saw immediately the machine rolling like a drum with lights and odd things tripping across my mind.   I kept my eyes open and held tight to the door handle in case I had to get out quickly.

Hours later, I felt foolish, but still afraid.  I need to have this done.  Why can't I do it?  Lots of people do.  What is wrong with me?

I called my doctor and told his nurse what happened.  They are scheduling me for another scan, but this time in their facility, where I have had it done before--feet first and with my head outside of the machine.  I can do this.  I will do this. But, going forward, I will not accept an appointment unless I know what type of machine I will be interfacing with and how it will affect. me.   

Sometimes, things don't turn out the way you think they will.  But, as long as you find an alternative that works for both sides, it should be ok.  

Texting Santa Claus

 

David and family are in for Thanksgiving.  We are having a wonderful time.  Birdie is crawling and trying to stand up (at 7 months old!) And, Alex is as bright and beautiful as always.  

Alex is excited for Christmas. Like most children, she has boundless energy and sometimes, it spills over to not listening as well as she could. But I witnessed David being a genius last night as he tried to get Alex to focus.

After two or three warnings to do or not do something, David took out his cell phone and said to Alex, "OK, that's it. I'm texting Santa Claus and telling him that you aren't listening to me." Alex stopped was she was doing and yelled, "No, Don't!" And then proceeded to pay attention and listen to Daddy. Ah, the younger generation--she knew that a text to Santa happens immediately and she didn't want to jinx her chances of a nice Christmas.

She is into stickers and coloring this trip. Birdie is into eating. Her lip is healing well and she is one happy baby.

David and Brenda look tired, but with full time jobs, community events and two kids, who wouldn't?

Tony is working a half day today and once again will be making a wonderful dinner. We are blessed to have family with us and hope that everyone has a warm and happy Thanksgiving.

Physical, The Moon and The Holidays

 

Well, the dreaded physical is over.  Actually, it wasn't too bad.  My numbers are trending in the right direction--although I still need to work on my bad cholesterol.  I have to have a cat scan for the nodules on my lungs so I hope to get that scheduled before Christmas.  All of my "functions" (liver, white blood cells, red blood cells, kidneys, etc.) are all good and for once, my blood pressure was "normal."  I guess being on 3 different kinds of BP meds is working!  At any rate, other than the nodules, the shortness of breath, purple, swollen feet and losing another inch of height, I'm doing well for someone my age!

It's getting downright chilly down here.  I know all of our family and friends in Cleveland are saying, "aw, poor you," as when I say chilly, I mean high 30's and low 40's.  Tonight, we  have a frost warning, so it's fireplace time.  

The moon has been beautiful of late.  Full and bright and just impressive.  I love evenings when you can look up and see the moon with clouds all around it.  I try to show Dixie, but she's more interested in smelling every inch of the backyard.  

We watched the poor excuse for a Browns game on Sunday.  She slept through most of it--just like Baker Mayfield.  I saw a clip after the game of Kevin Stefanski in the locker room.  He was going over the stats and the top performers.  He said, "well, employee number 24 (Chubb) sure turned up for work today."  And that was it.  He was right, Chubb was the only one who showed any real effort.  But, I still hate Chubb up the middle.   I love Baker, but he was finished in the second quarter.  Why he played the whole game is a mystery to me.  

We are counting down to Thanksgiving with David, Brenda and the girls.  David and Brenda are taking us out to a favorite restaurant, Tarentelli's, on Friday and then they have a date night on Saturday.  Oh boy, we get to watch the girls.  Birdie is doing so well after her surgery.  The scar is getting more faint everyday.  Both girls are just beautiful.  

Today, we are running around doing last minute company things--shopping, cleaning and all of that stuff that I just love to do (not!!)

Things with the papers are doing well.   The first edition of Cape Fear Voices in which I acted as Editor will be out in December.  We have to redo the website as with the split of the previous editor, he refused to let us continue to use the primary photo he took of the Cape Fear river and bridge that was on the website, so it looks kind of disjointed right now.  Check out the December issue at www.capefearvoices.org, after December 5.  We are now working on the January issue.  I'm good with Leland Magazine through December.  

Here's our moon.  Love it.  I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

Doctors. Lab and Karen

 

Well, it's that time of year again--lab work, nurse visit and yearly physical.  YUCK.  I liked the last physical I  had.  We did it over a zoom call.  There wasn't a scale in sight!!  This time,  the nurse marched me right over to it.  I told her to note on my chart that each ear ring I had on weighed 40 pounds.  

I got my flu shot but passed on the shingles shot.  At $400, I decided if I can live with the skin problems I have now, I can deal with shingles, if need be.   But, all in all, it was an OK visit.  The physical is next week, after my lab results are in.  It was very busy at the lab with a ton of old people.  I told Tony I ran into a "Karen" at the lab and of course, she was from New York.  The hospital has an automated system in front of the lab door.  You are supposed to face the machine and put your right wrist on a reader so the machine can record your photo and temperature.  Well, this lady breezed on by it like it wasn't even there.  She also breezed by the line at the lab window and went instead to the Urgent Care side of the room to check in for lab work.  She was not happy when she was turned around and told to stand in the lab line.   So, this woman finally gets up to the front of the line to check in and the lab worker told her she had to go back into the hallway and have her picture taken and her temperature done.  She did, but when she came back in, she was at the end of the line.  She was not a happy camper.  

Like I said, it was a busy place, so after I checked in, I waited for almost 20 minutes before being called, so I was sitting in the front row for this show.  OK, so "Karen" huffs her way back to the hallway and does the photo/temperature thing.  She comes back into the lab area looking for a seat--didn't happen.  The place was full and every other seat was blocked off for social distancing.   

So, I'm sitting in the front row for a few more minutes and a lab person comes out and calls for, "Jan."  I think she was going to finish the name, but "Karen" cut her off and yelled, "that's me."  Turns out her name was Jan, too.  So both of us are approaching the lab person and "Karen/Jan" keeps saying, "that's me, I've been waiting."  The lab person said in a very nice voice, "I understand ma'am, but this is my patient."  She was nodding toward me as she said it.  So "Karen/Jan" keeps going.  "But you called for Jan, can't you just take me?"  The lab worker said, "no ma'am, I can't, you are both Jan's, but I have her paperwork, not yours."  

So, "Karen/Jan" realizes that the whole lobby is kind of snickering at her so she goes to sit down.  On a positive note, she did get my chair, but she was one aggressive chick.  

Today we are headed to "downtown" Leland...a good 1/2 a square mile of space to go to an event.  My Leland Magazine editor and his wife will be there so we decided to get together and meet spouses.  I'm looking forward to it.  After that, we're going to a placed call Second Glass to wine and appetizers.  It will be a nice day out.  

Next week--the physical.  UG.

Writing and Writing and Other Stuff

 

I think I am an example of things changing in an instant.  From August, 2020 to August, 2021, I wrote for Cape Fear Voices.  After a shake up in editors and some nasty stuff, I quit and started to write for Leland Magazine.  A step up, since I get paid for my work.  

Well, there have been more changes at Cape Fear Voices.  The egotistical editor is gone and now I am writing for both papers.  I'm working on the Writer's Banquet in March and I'm helping out at Leland Middle School with the Journalism Club.  

It seems like I go from no activity to doing lots of things in a very short time.  I am enjoying myself so I guess this is a good thing. 

And so we are moving into November.  The weather has been great.  Since the Browns weren't playing yesterday, we went downtown to the boardwalk and went to a favorite restaurant for appetizers.  We went to a new restaurant and had some really good food and drinks and then came home and played music roulette with Alexa.  Today, I had a meeting with the Leland Cultural Arts Center where the Banquet will be held just to make sure everything is on track.  

I also found out that the mayor of Leland, who is not running for office again, has agreed to be on the Cape Fear Voices Board of Directors.  It will be good to have a heavy hitter on our team to help get things done.

David and Brenda have been married for 5  years this month and Tony and Marie for 10 years, also this month and spent a week in Granada to celebrate.  Time flies.  David, Brenda and the girls will be in for Thanksgiving and we will be in Charlotte a few days after Christmas. Same script as last year and always fun.  

Our Palm Pointe Social is October 30th and we're all bringing food.  This will probably be the last one for the year.  We've had a really good time getting to know our neighbors and sharing stories with people who have just moved in. 

Another year will be coming to a close.  It went quickly and happily by.

  

Back Home Again

 

We spent a fast weekend in Cleveland for my high school reunion.  I had a good time.  I actually got to hug 2 cool guys.  I was not cool in high school.  I was just present and pretty much invisible.   They were very nice about my high school crushes and blushed appropriately!

Tony, as always, was great.  You can take him anywhere and he just blends right in.  He talked to friends of mine and took good care of me. 

We got to see Jenna's kids but had to wear masks.  I was a bit disappointed in Ben this year.  He was very aloof, at first not allowing me to hug him and then, when we were leaving, he did allow a hug, but did not hug back.  He wore his mask the entire time we were there and didn't say much.  I am hoping it is just a matter of being 15 and bored by grandparents visiting. 

The other kids were a hoot.  Tony played dodge ball with them in the back yard and Jon joined us on the deck for some lively conversation. 

Ellie is getting more and more beautiful.  Sam is the image of Jenna and Zach took great delight in showing me how he could bend his ears over like an envelope and dislocate his shoulder blades.  I just love them so much. 

It is taking Dixie some time to get readjusted to our routine.  She woke Tony up 4 times last night to go outside.  The last time was a 4:00 a.m.  Of course she slept in this morning and just kind of glared at us if we walked by her bed and woke us up.  I told her to look on the bright side, at least she didn't have to take us to the bathroom. 

I am getting ready to start on my third article for Leland Magazine and am having a good time.  

I'm also doing some research and writing a section introduction for a book that Gerald, my friend at Cape Fear Voices is working on.   All in all, I am keeping busy and enjoying the milder weather.