We Heard You, Ma

Today I had lunch with my sisters. My mother always wanted us to be close--but she went about it the wrong way. My mother insisted that we didn't need friends, because we had each other. My mother pushed us together and didn't realize that we were three very different people. I think that all of the pushing she did made us back away from each other instead of having the close relationship that sisters often do. My sister, Lynn, is the caregiver. She lived with my parents the longest and took care of them when they were ill. I don't know how she did it, because I certainly couldn't have. She went to doctor's appointments and coordinated medicine and ultimately worked with visiting nurses for our mother's last days. Thinking back on it now, the burden must have been terribly hard, but not once did she say she couldn't do it. My sister, Fritz, is the youngest. I used to always say that her biggest ambition was to be my mother. The homemaker, the mother, the one who was always there. Fritz has had some very hard moments in her life, but continues to smile and make every day meaningful. We learned today that her daughter, Sarah, was accepted to Kent State and her son, Joe, may be working in Canton as an actor. For Fritz, the well being of her children is what keeps her going. And then there is me. Always the rebel, always the problem. These lunches have been good for all of us. I called my sisters to get this started because I could hear my mother scolding me from beyond. It was my responsibility, she said, for she always considered me the strong one. Sometimes that was not the best thing for she and I, because, she too, was very strong and that made us have tons of conflict. But, when she wanted something done, she usually called me to either get it done or get it started. And so, I did. I think in these past three lunches my sisters and I have learned more about each other than in the 19 or so years we all lived in the same house. We are all different people, but we have common threads. I found out that Fritz plays golf--probably worse than I do. But it's something I never knew until today--and so we will go this summer and see who sucks more at golf. Fritz is the bowler. Our father bowled. He played golf too. He was pretty good at both. I admitted today that I didn't know how to bowl--never did. I always wanted to, especially since Jenna bowls, but I never did. Maybe one day I will. Lynn is a miniature golfer!! Nothing wrong with that. One of the best dates Tony and I ever had was playing miniature golf. Um....I don't think we played it the same way as Lynn, since alot of cleavage was involved, but what the heck, it's a thread. Anyway, today we celebrated Lynn's birthday. She will be 59 on January 21. We went to Red Lobster and the wait staff sang to her. We talked for two hours about kids and Christmas and memories and we laughed. At one point, I thought to myself....we heard you, ma. And I think she heard us as well. I think she is happy now.