At What Price, Elmo?

I learned today that Ben doesn't love me. Yes, it's true, he said. He doesn't love me. Sam loves me and Ben loves Papa. Now, how did we get to this point? Well, it all has to do with Elmo. As you have read from various blogs, I am a systemic illerate. I try, but the buttons just dont' do what I want them to do. Tony presses buttons and amazing things happen. I press the same buttons and absolutely nothing happens.

It was that way alot today. Tony put in the Elmo DVD and made it go on. Ben was enthralled, although he has seen the same DVD 30 times. But today, we were looking out the sliding glass doors in the family room watching Papa run the snow blower over the deck. Papa is making snow, as Ben said. I had Sammy in my lap and Ben at my side and I was a happy woman. "I love you," I said to Ben, "do you love me?" Wrong question to ask. "No," he answered frankly. "You don't love me?" I questioned? "No," he repeated, "Sam loves you, I love Papa." Well, this threw me. "How come you don't love me," I asked Ben. "Because," he responded simply. "But you love Papa?" I clarified. "Yes," he stated, "I love Papa." Hmmmm, I needed to get to the bottom of this, so I did what every other grandmother in this situation would do....I fake cried. "Oh, I'm so sad," I said to Ben...."Moe Moe loves you so much....how come you don't love me?" Seeing me cry, Ben cozied up to me and said, "because you can't do Elmo and Papa can." Elmo? Being a systemic illerate is costing me the love of my grandson???? I don't think so. "Do you love Mommy," I asked? "Oh yes," Ben said. "Do you love Daddy," I ventured further...."Oh yes," Ben replied again. "And you love Papa?" I asked again. "Yes!" Ben stated firmly. "Can Mommy do Elmo?" I asked, "yes," Ben replied. "And Daddy can do Elmo?" I asked. "Oh yes," Ben said. Well, I was on to something. "Ben," I questioned, "If I could make Elmo come on, would you love me?" I asked. "Oh yes," Ben said, "if you could do Elmo I wouldn't have to wait for Papa." Ah....the dawning of reason.

So, tonight, when the boys are in bed, I'm up for Elmo lessons. No short, furry, high pitched red puppet is going to get the best of me. If that's what it takes for Ben to love me, I can learn to do Elmo.

"How come Sam loves me," I asked Ben. Poor Ben, this weekend has been challenging for him....so many times he has had to explain the obvious to me...."because, Moe Moe" he said, "Sam doesn't know Elmo yet. You tickle his belly and he likes that." Ah--so as soon as Sammy gets to know Elmo, I'm at risk again. I better bone up on this DVD, start, play and pause stuff. The price may be high, but it's worth it.


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