The Reasons I Love Talking to Ben

We have the boys for the weekend while Jenna and Jon attend an adoption class. No matter how often I see them, I am constantly amazed at how they interact and communicate with us and the world.

I love talking to Ben--here are some examples of why:

Ben: Moe Moe, do you know my number?
Me: Your number?????
Ben: Yes, do you know my number?
Me: I guess not, what is your number?
Ben: 4, Moe Moe, my number is 4. I'm going to be 4 on August 29.
Me: Oh...that's right. Your number is 4.
Ben: Moe, Moe, do you know what my number is now?
Me; Yes, Ben, I do. Your number is 4.
Ben: No, Moe, Moe....my number is 3. I'm 3 NOW. I won't be 4 until August 29.


Ben: Where is your house?
Me: Well, we'll turn right up here and get on I71 and drive for awhile.
Ben: We'll turn right and then what?
Me; Well, after we find our exit, we'll turn right again, then turn right again.
Ben: Can we turn left?
Me: No, if we turn left we won't get to the house.
Ben: I want to turn left.
Me: Why?
Ben: I like left better.
Me: Why?
Ben: Because left will take me to my house.


Ben: Moe, Moe, you have boo boos on your arm.
Me; Yes, Ben, I do.
Ben: Are they sketa bites?
Me; Yes, Ben, they are.
Ben: I don't like sketa bites
Me: I don't either.
Ben: Then why do you have them?


Sammy: Shoe....Shoe...
Me; Ben, can you fix Sammy's shoe?
Ben: Can I get out of my car seat?
Me: No, can you just put the strap back on?
Ben: I will fix it.
Me: Thank you.
Ben: Your welcome.
Ben: Sam, your shoe is fine, stop talking.
Ben: Moe, Moe, I fixed Sam's shoe.

Ben: Moe, Moe, Sam will be three.
Me: No, Sam will be two.
Ben: No, Sam will be three.
Me: But he's only a little older than one now.
Ben: Moe, Moe, Sam will be three.....after he turns two.

Ben: Moe, Moe....I'm going to be 4.
Me; I know, you'e getting so old. Soon, you'll be going to school.
Ben: Yes, I know, but first I'm going to your house.

I love talking to Ben.

Better Than A Coffee Break

An original photograph by Benjamin Purdum!




Jenna brought the kids to a park near the building where I work and called to see if I wanted to spend some time with her and the kids. HMMMMM....GEE LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT!! Sammy freaked out when he saw me because I think he thought Jenna was going to leave him with me. But I had a great time. Ben is into photography, as you can see. He took this picture of the building and told me he was taking pictures of the "kwouds."

And then he ran under the tree and took a picture straight up. I remember being on a picnic with Tony a few years ago and I did the same thing. Tony said I was finally thinking like a photographer.




Sammy really had a tough time at the park. One of his little friends brought a toy with her, but dropped it in favor of playing with a ball. Sammy picked up the book and was happily playing with it, when she decided she wanted it back. Sammy was not a happy guy.








Jenna took this picture of Ben and I.





This is Ben deciding to run with the other kids or play ball. Big decision!!

Thanks for calling, Jenna.

Blue Feet

Construction on our bathrooms has started. While having only one working bathroom has presented a few challenges, the outcome will be worth it. Tony and I are rotating staying home from work to be with the builders. Tony stayed home on Monday. It turned out to be a frustrating day for him and when I got home from work, I found that he was eager to talk about the whole experience thus far. While I was interested in what he was saying, I couldn't get past his blue feet. He was wearing sandals, but very clearly marked, in some Avatar sort of way, were patches of blue all over his feet and part of his legs.

I know Tony. Being married to him for this long, I know his communication style. If he thought blue feet were important, he would have started the saga of his day with them. He didn't, so while they were a distraction, I was confident they weren't life threatening.

And indeed Tony had a day. Work men tearing down the bathrooms, talking to people at work to solve a problem even though he was on a vacation day and then the air conditioning decided to go off and leave us with frozen coils.

What a day. I found his story to be an interesting illustration of the differences between us. When I have a day off, I am thrilled to have back to back episodes of Frasier, Lifetime TV movies and Dr. Phil--and if I can find a "Top Model" marathon, it's even better. A day off to me is an excuse to do absolutely nothing....and seriously, while I may do a few minor things, I'm certainly not going to do anything that is going to annoy me. Tony on the other hand, sees a day off as another opportunity to take care of the house and yard. God forbid he should actually sit down and watch something on TV. He's up early, has his coffee, hits the hot tub and then attacks his "to do" list with vigor.

As the builders were tearing down our bathroom, Tony saw an opportunity to tackle a problem that has apparently bothered him for years--the toilet in the small bathroom off the kitchen "runs." Now, I recall, there were times when Tony would stick his head into the bathroom as I was applying my makeup and say, "that thing is running again, do you hear it?" From my perspective, that's not really a fair question. Do I hear water? Yes. Isn't a toilet supposed to have water? Yes. So I never really understood the "running" part. But, it annoyed him greatly, so when the builders took the toilet out into the garage, Tony found that to be an excellent opportunity to fix it.

He went to Home Depot and bought new and improved, "toilet insides." I can't get any more specific than that because I know they go inside the toilet--what they do when they're in there is any body's guess.

So Tony took out the old insides, opened up the new ones and struggled for the next hour to get the new insides to fit. Apparently nothing worked. He twisted, bent, attached, re-attached, swore and finally gave up. See, this is the difference that I was talking about. When Tony drives my car and asks how long a noise he hears has been going on--I can't tell him. If I hear a noise, I turn up the radio. If something doesn't work, I go out and buy a new one. I don't credit myself with the talent to take something that isn't working, apart and put it back together in a manner that will make it work better or different...that's just not me. But, in the long run, I don't spend an hour in the garage on a muggy, 97 degree day, either. Call me crazy, I'd rather be inside the air conditioned house, watching Top Model.

But, in the end, Tony fixed the toilet with the old insides and managed to return the new parts to the box so that all of the pieces fit. But, he still had work to do. Tony likes "blue toilet water." You know that stuff that you buy called "A million and three flushes," but in reality, after four flushes it's not blue anymore? Well, there was some blue water in the bottom of the toilet, so Tony decided to flush it out with the garden hose. It flushed all right...all over him--hence, the blue feet. He finally picked up the toilet and put it over a drain in the garage to get rid of the blue water.

There was a sense of pride and accomplishment in Tony's voice, but also a sense of frustration in back tracking from Home Depot, not being able to install the new part and getting blue feet.

Like I said--Tony and I are different. I can absolutely assure all of you that I will never have blue feet because I flushed blue water out of a toilet in our garage with a garden hose on a hot summer day. But, my sense is that Tony is the better person, for he wore his feet proudly and I had to admire his spirit for trying.

I don't think that Tony will ever retire. I think he will continue to take care of our home, possessions and property where ever we are. And, if that means having blue feet--God love him.

A Candle in the Wind

When I was in a job search, I used to call all of my potential interviews, candles in the wind...they were out there, but the slightest thing could blow them out and I would be left with a burned out candle. But to me, it was nice to have candles in the wind...they were opportunities, they were potential career moves. They weren't official, but they were something to give me hope.

"Official" things in life are funny. We always knew that Marie would be in our family, but it wasn't "official" until Tony asked her to marry him. We always knew that Jenna and Jon would have beautiful children, but it wasn't "official" until Ben and Sam were born...and we always knew that David and Joanna could weather any storm, but it wasn't "official" until David got sick.

Retirement and moving is becoming more and more "official." We got our first lot loan payment notice on Friday...meaning we own (or are at least paying on official Swegle dirt!!) And, Tony's retirement clock is "officially" ticking off each day.

I posted that when we went to North Carolina, I talked to the builder, who is trying to set up a Call Center, and ultimately, sent him my resume.....well, I got an email from him on Friday, asking if I was still interested and asking me to call him.

It's a candle in the wind....the wind that will blow across our new property and new stage of life. It may not work out....but it give me hope. Never blow out your candles in the wind, children...they light your path.

From One Extreme to Another

What a fun day I had yesterday. Jenna, Ben, Sammy and I went to the bank to flip over some money in Ben's savings account to a CD and to open a savings account for Sammy. Ben was so big. He sat in the chair next to me holding his savings pass book. I told him to give it to Nora, the banker who was helping us and he did. After a few minutes, he looked at Jenna and said, "Mama, she's not giving my book back." Nora cracked up. A few minutes later, Nora asked him his name. Apparently Ben has been cautioned about giving out too much information, because he said, "Moe Moe, she wants to know my name, but she's a stranger." Nora cracked up. Then, Ben decided that he wanted to tell Nora his name, so he asked Jenna if he could tell her. Nora asked how old he was, and Ben responded, "I will be 4." Nora asked when his birthday was and Ben said, "soon." Nora said, "really, when???" Ben responded, "really soon." Nora cracked up. I finally convinced Ben that he could tell Nora when his birthday was even though she was a stranger. Nora completed the transaction of turning some of Ben's money into a long term CD and I gave Ben back his book and said, "Ben, this is your bank...you have money here." That impressed Ben a great deal. He said, "Mama, this is my bank...I work here." Nora cracked up. She told Ben at the end of the transaction that she was glad he was a customer of First Federal of Lakewood and that she hoped she saw him often. Ben said OK, waved and was on his way.

Sammy started out being a little afraid of the bank, but soon was running and jumping on the couch. He too is a customer now, but I think it will be awhile before he is handling his bank book like Ben did.

And then, after work, Jenna and I headed for West 25th street. Call me crazy, but West 25th street has always been a suspect area. An area to avoid. But, there we were heading to a tattoo place to get her Sammy tattoo--my birthday present to her. You couldn't go to Strongsville??? I asked?

Ah, it was an interesting place. The smell of lack of air conditioning, ink and sweat hit you as you walked in. Men were walking around in various stages of undress and ink and a young lovely came and went--apparently a girlfriend of one of the "tattoo-eese" with even less clothes on than he, even though he was only wearing shorts. What is that line from a movie about "something about napome in the morning???" Well this was like, "there's something about butt crack in the tattoo parlor."

The music was ..interesting. It was a combination of heavy metal, rap and good ole boy country. I had no idea that the word f**k applied to so many kinds of music. There was the country song...."I'm Layin Here Wasted While My Woman is Out Getting F**ked" Then there was our personal favorite...."I Can Polish Off A Bottle, But I Can't Polish A Turd." Oh...and then there was, "She Used to Be Pretty, But Now She's Just Pretty F**ked Up." The heavy metal songs were harder to identify as far as words were concerned....it was kind of like. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, AHHHHHH, EEEEEEE,,,,,and I told her you better get ready to f**k.....or I would BAM, BAM, BAM, OUU, OUUUUUUUUU, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. I'm sure the words are much more classy than that, but I just couldn't decipher. I thought of asking if they had any Barry Manilow or Air Supply, but Jenna didn't think that was a good idea.

But finally, she had two beautiful tattoos. One of a B17 with Sammy's name across the top (see her blog, I was only going to post the outline, but she has the whole thing there looking beautiful.) and her father's signature on her shoulder. That one made me cry. I hadn't seen that signature in 34 years, but I remembered it instantly.

I had fun. It was hard to watch Jenna be in pain, but I was there with her this time and I wouldn't have missed it or given the opportunity to anyone else for the world.

From bank to tattoo parlor--from one extreme to another, but what fun I had!

We're All in a Good Place - No Pictures

Make sure you check out the blog I did earlier, showing part 2 of the backyard...it's so pretty. But I was thinking today, we are all in a good place in our lives--and I hope we all realize that.

Tony and I got notification from Compass Pointe that our lot loan was approved and we now own dirt in North Carolina!!! Yea!!! And soon, a house will inhabit that dirt--oh boy, can't wait. David was advised by his doctor that he can go back to work on Monday. That means that Joanna will be going to cosmetology school soon. Tony and Marie put a deposit down on a hall in North Olmsted--not their preferred date--but you never know what can happen. And, Jenna and Jon are #5 on the adoption list--possibly #3, depending on circumstances. So, we are healthy, we have beautiful nephews and grandchildren--we will soon be adding on to our family and we are happy. What a good place to be. Take a step back. Think about where you are individually and where we are as a family and enjoy the moment. So often life is filled with challenges and difficult moments. Isn't nice that we have a good place that we are all in at the same time? Isn't it nice that for a moment in time we are all connected and we are all good?

Enjoy the time, my children. We love you lots.

An Asshole and a Beautiful Day

Today we went to wine coutry--Ohio wine country...Geauga, Conneaut and North Kingsville...where some of our favorite winery are...Tarsitano, is my favorite--good food, nice wne and two people trying to make a living. Ken and Kelly are very special special people.

It's unfortunate that when you are having a wonderful day, someone spoils it. Today, it was someone who cut us off on the highway. He cut in front of us with litereally less than a half a car length between us. I don't know how Tony managed to control the car, blow the horn and give him the finger all in one gesture--but he did. I felt better as we passed him up the road and I gave him a full finger out the window. How stupid that was. How it could have turned out. That someone needed to be in front of us for a minute and would risk the outcome...but he did. Be careful as you are traveling--people are crazy out there.

But the rest of the day was wonderful...good food, good wine, walking in the downtown area and just enjoying the day. Thank you for recognizing Tony as a great father and grandfather--that made my day.