Ellie and Me

I went to see Ellie for the first time today. We've been planning to go for several days now, but both Tony and I came down with the flu that is going around. I finally felt like I wasn't contagious anymore and I had to see her and get pictures to add to my digital frame that Tony got me for Christmas. Of course, the pictures of me are lousy, in part, because I take really bad pictures, but also because I still have a cough that keeps me up at night.

From the minute I walked in the door, I was stunned at how small she was. I don't remember Ben and Sam being that small even seeing them right after they were born. Her head is the size of an orange and Jenna is right, her clothes hang on her. I bought 0 to 3 month outfits figuring they would fit her...wrong!

Jenna had her in a pajama outfit and when she gave the baby to me, I didn't feel any legs and the pants of the outfit swung to and fro as I moved around. Ellie's legs were up around her stomach and she was just swallowed up by cloth. Not to worry, Eliie, Mo Mo went shopping tonight!!

But, like Jenna and Jon, I fell in love at first sight. Ellie has beautiful features. She has a pouty mouth and a chin that falls right in line with the rest of the family. Her hair is silky and very dark. Jenna had a white bow in it today. Her eyebrows are light, with a definite curve and her fingers are slim and long. When she yawned, she reached her right hand out and dropped her wrist in the most feminine way.

I saw pictures of Ellie's birth mother and father. They look like nice people. They looked scared and a little heart broken. I wanted to reach into that picture and tell them that Ellie Purdum is going to have a good life. She will have a family and extended family who lover her very much and she will be well cared for. Jenna and Jon will challenge her mind, her abilities and her spiritual life. They will give her the same opportunities as they have given Ben and Sam and they will protect her. What more could any parent want for a child they have to give to others to raise?

My short visit was coming to an end. As much as I tried to wake her up, it didn't work. She slept through my entire visit, smiling slightly a few times, but definitely when she heard Ben come home from school.

Our daughter and son-in-law have made a beautiful family. From Ben, who has always had the beautiful blue eyes, and then Sammy, our little personality boy and now with Ellie. My Elizabeth. How I love that name. And how well it suits her. I said in out last post that Tony and I are truly blessed, and that was before Ellie. We are even more so now.

We Are Blessed

What a special Christmas we had this year--and we have so much to look forward to in the coming year. It's times like this that make me realize that we are truly blessed. As Tony and I have said, 2011, is really going to be "The Year Of....." So much is going on--the wedding, the new baby, the new house, the retirement--what an amazing year we are going to have.

The big news of today is that Jenna and Jon are meeting the birth parents of our little girl for dinner this evening and then will be in the delivery room when the mother is induced. I know that they are excited, nervous and ready for this baby to come. They have waited so long. For me and my sister, it was an opportunity to shop for pink things and we really enjoyed ourselves. Our new baby has plenty of things to keep her warm and fashionable for the next 3 months!!!

The other big news of today is that Tony and I are going to go shopping with Tony and Marie for wedding reception stuff. Marie asked Tony to design a unique idea for guests to "sign in" at the reception. I can't wait to see how it turns out. Little by little, their wedding is falling into place and I know it's going to be a beautiful event.

We all got great gifts for Christmas--for me one of the best was a picture frame that digitally displays hundreds of pictures that you download to it. I can't wait to set it up and take it to work and have slide shows!!!

In addition to the digital picture frame, we're really getting tech-savvy.....well, not really us, but Tony Jr is connecting our computer with a camera so we will be able to see and talk to everyone. That will be so cool.


Notice that I have downloaded pictures from Christmas day. And of course, notice that I have two of the same picture of Jon and Jenna. I'd love to say that I did that because they look so good, I had to download the picture twice, but of course, that would be a huge fib. Once again, I flunked picture uploading--how I uploaded them twice, I don't know...but they do look good.

The kids had a great time playing with "Aunt Ma-wee" and Uncle Tony. They were very well behaved and enjoyed all of their gifts. At one point, someone referred to Tony Sr as "Uncle Tony" and Ben announced, "that's not Uncle Tony, that's Papa." Nothing gets past Ben!! Sammy was a doll....he is just Mr. Personality and so cute. Jenna had them dressed alike and it reminded me a lot of David and Tony Jr when they were small. Little "brudders."


It was great to see Chris and Shannon, the brothers and sisters-in-law and my sister for the holiday. The house was full of memories, good food and gifts from the heart.

Tony and I are truly blessed to have the family and extended family that we do and we love all of you very much.

Chief Wunning Water

Sometimes everything falls into place. The stars align and good things happen. It was that way today. I had a ton of boring work to do, but I looked out my window at the bright, breezy day and wished I had a reason to be out in it. My eyes fell on my assortment of pictures of Ben and Sam and I was reminded of a conversation I had with Tony a few days ago, when he asked me if I had seen them lately. I had not...and I was sure they had grown since I did see them.

Just then, the phone rang. It was Jenna asking if I could pick up Ben from pre-school as she was stuck in traffic. Could I....I had my coat on before I hung up the phone!!

Ben's pre-school is just a few blocks from my office, so I got there in no time. I got to see his school room and the owl that he made that is hanging on the wall. I saw his favorite pre-school toy, a train set, and his teacher told me that he plays with that most of the time when he is there. I saw his "own mailbox" with his name on it and looked at his "homewruk." And you know what's coming next....yep...it took me back 30 years.

Ben's teacher told him to show me what he made in school and tell me about it. "It's a necklace," he said, holding it out to show me. "It's got a feather on it and this is not macaroni that you eat." Ah, good point. At the bottom of the necklace was a round piece of what looked like cardboard. "Tell your grandmother what your Indian name is," his teacher told Ben. Ben looked confused so I suggested she tell him to tell "Mo Mo." She did and you could see the light bulb go off over Ben's head. "OH," he said. "My Indian name is Chief Wunning Water." His teacher explained that they were talking about Thanksgiving and the Indians and Pilgrims. They were also talking about the elements and each child had to pick an element and give themselves an Indian name associated with the element. Ben picked water. He told me, "when he goes to Mo Mo's and Papa's house he plays in the fountain with wunning water and the hot tub." What beautiful logic.

From pre-school, we went to "Two Dad's Diner" and had some apple juice while we waited for Mommy and Sammy. We talked about coming over to our house next week and how Ben is going to play with airplanes with Uncle David. The time for me to go back to work came all to quickly by--but, I got to see pre-school, had a great conversation with Ben and Jenna, I got to see a sleepy Sammy and I have to admit this was one of the best afternoons I have ever had "at wruk."

Thanks, Jenna, for getting stuck and thank God the stars were aligned just right!!

When Laughter Is In the House

Tony and I laugh. We laugh at "Two and a Half Men," we laugh at the stupid things we do because we are getting older. We laugh at the day's events when we both come home from work. But there is no better laughter in house than when Ben and Sam are over.

We got to have them over today for a few hours while Jon was building new beds for them and Jenna was shopping for sheets. Ben made me laugh. He willingly told me that he had to go to the potty and could do it himself. So he went in and shut the door. Sammy followed behind him going, "Potty, Potty???" but Ben said, "Sam, I need my privacy." And so Sammy waited quietly outside of the closed door. Ben finished up and ran into the "other" living room and proudly pulled down his jeans, showing me his tiny belly and long legs. "Look, Mo Mo," he said in a very excited voice, "I have on super hero under pants." And so he did. Sammy, who always wants to be just like Ben, showed me his diaper.

The next time I laughed was when I gave the kids lunch. I was feeding Sammy some yogurt and Ben was fixated on the TV. "Ben," I said, "eat your yogurt." Ben never took his eyes off of the TV but said to me, "I will, Mo Mo, but I can't go anywhere....I have to wait for Sponge Bob, he'll be back after these messages."

Ben told me about Thomas the Train's number. It's 1. There is a number 1 painted on the sign, so we went through everyone's number. "What is your mommy's number," I asked Ben? "I don't know," he replied. "Your mother's number is 34." I said. "No way," Ben replied. "Well, I asked, "how old do you think Mommy is?" Ben gave this some thought and said, "as old as Ty."

The best laughter came when Papa was home. Each boy, at some point, went to the kitchen door looking for Papa to return from the grocery store. And finally, there he was. Papa...the pilot who unlocked the airplanes, Papa the hero, Papa the entertainment.

Papa bravely got down on the floor with the boys and was the bucking horse, the rolling log, the bridge....anything they wanted. And during all of this...they all laughed. Ben and Sam and Papa. They laughed with the pure joy of being 2 and 4 and being able to push a grown man down to his knees and then on to the floor. They laughed as Papa pulled them over his shoulder and down to the floor. And they laughed as they climbed all over him. And Papa laughed too. It was Papa and his boys playing on the floor and he wouldn't have changed a minute of the time they were here.

Tony and I laugh. We laugh at "Two and a Half Men," but never so much as we do when our two lesser than half men are over. It was a good day.

1 Year Anniversary

A year ago on October 24, 2009, my mother stopped yelling at me. She's been dead since 2006, but in my dreams over and over again, she would implore me, "do something, I don't want you girls to drift apart." She meant my sisters and me--3 people who have very little in common and could literally go years without seeing each other.

But, so I could get a good night's sleep and put my mother to rest, I organized the first sisters lunch. It was uncomfortable at first, but soon the "do you remember when's" started and it turned out to be a good time.

We tried to do it once a month, but got behind in the summer. Today, October 23, 2010, was sisters lunch again. My niece, Sarah joined us from Kent State and put up with lots of teasing and embarrassing jokes--but I think she enjoyed herself.

Next week, we're going to see my nephew, Joe, in a play. Two sister events in two weeks--I think I'm entitled to some extra credit, ma. Keep Fritz awake next time we drift apart!

4:01

I titled this blog 4:01 because of it's meaning to Jenna and Sammy. They were both born at 4:01. Jenna was born on June 7, 1976 at 4:01 a.m. (thanks, Jenna!!) Sammy was born on October 15, 2008 at 4:01 p.m.

Last night we went to Jenna and Jon's to celebrate our little Sammy's birthday. He and Ben look so much older with their new haircuts. I wish they could stay little forever.

Sammy was very social. He went right to Tony and called him "Papa" just like Ben does. Of course, he called me "Papa" and Noreen and Scott to, so I'm guessing Sammy is either really into simplicity ("hey, I'll just call them all the same thing, I know they're going to respond...") or he just hasn't quite figured out genders yet. That's OK, he can call me whatever he wants.

Sammy too, is going to share Ben's and (the real) Papa's passion for airplanes. Sam got a Mickey Mouse airplane from Ben and the pure joy on his face when he held the plane up over his head and said, "Micky flying..." was great to watch.

And so, as Ben said, "Sammy's number is 2 now," we watched our other grandson change right before our eyes. He's keeping up with the big kids now. He says "again" really well and can finally say real words to communicate with us.

Each boy has a special place in my heart--Ben because he was our first grandchild and Sammy because of his Morgan looks. When Jenna has him on her lap, it takes me back 32 years to when my little girl had that same smile and energy.

Happy Birthday, Sammy. Two is a great number for you!

Nature/Nurture

Tony has always been very respectful regarding Jenna's father. He never tried to take over that role and he understands the void that she feels. That is not to say that he is unwilling to fill that void--but that he knows he can't. At best, he can be a substitute--much like I was for David and Tony--but the real thing is the real thing and we all know that.

When Jenna was pregnant with Ben, Tony felt the same way. He talked about Ben calling him "grandpa Tony," reserving the term "grandpa" for Scott--a "real" grandpa. But Ben changed all of that. At one point, the day that Ben was being born, Noreen asked me what I wanted Ben to call me. In reality, I wanted Ben to call me "his favorite", but I settled for whatever he wanted to call me as long as he knew that I loved him and would never let anything hurt him.

But then, there he was....born and in distress. He was being taken to Fairview Hospital and the person in charge of transmitting him from one place to another gave us one shot at taking a picture of Ben in his isolet before being taken away from us. "Be ready and do it quick," he said. And Tony, stepped up to the plate. "I'll take it," he said. And he did. At that moment in time, Ben looked right at him--tubes in his nose, with his big blue eyes, and ready to be taken away. His eyes said, "take my picture, Papa," and Tony did. It remains one of our favorite pictures of Ben.

We had Ben for the weekend--the weekend that Ben said he needed--the vacation away from Sammy. And what a good time we had. We went to the airport and saw airplanes, we went to a block party, we baked cookies. I don't honestly know how Tony and I will get along without Ben. The Ben who opens the refrigerator door, who pushes the "go" button on the dryer....who puts the mail in the mailbox and raises the flag to tell the mailman there is something to pick up. How do Tony and I do this without him?

Ben brought an airplane book with him for this visit. He sat and listened intently as Papa read the book, and even corrected him on some of the passages. We went to the airport and talked about cargo planes and the wind. I watched the two of them sit on the couch and talk about propellers (probably didn't spell that right!!) and the kind of airplanes they like.

I thought of Bill--Jenna's father. He didn't know about airplanes, but I know he would have found common ground to relate to Ben. They would have been friends. But on this day--on this "vacation for Ben," he shared his thoughts and his passion with "Papa." His Papa and it was a beautiful sight to see. Ben and Tony love each other. Ben loves Tony as his "Papa," and doesn't know or care that they don't share blood. And Tony....well, Tony loves Ben as his grandson and he too, doesn't care that they don't share blood. They share love for each other and air planes and the things they do togheter. Bill is Ben nature--his DNA, his looks. Tony is Ben's nurture--the things they share together that Ben will remember. I am in the middle. I am lucky to have loved two men--one that gave me Jenna and one that loves Ben and Sam and me, very, very much.

Jenna and Jon will have a little girl one day. Her nature will be her looks--her nurture will be Jenna and Jon...and she will be a very lucky little girl.