My Child Is 40 Today

There is a line in one of our favorite movies, "The Patriot," where Heath Ledger is arguing with his father about being too young to join the military during the Revolutionary War.  He says to his movie father, Mel Gibson, "I'm not a child."  To which Mel strongly responds, "You're my child."

 

My child is 40 today.   OK, the number 40 and the word, "child," may not necessarily go together, but like Mel said, your child is your child no matter how old they are.  

 

But Jenna wasn't always 40.   At one point, Jenna was that little girl with the red scalp and the "duck tail" piece of hair at the back of her neck.   "Isn't he cute," old ladies would say at the grocery store. 

She was the little girl who used to call fish, "she-shes."

And she was the baby in the "pumpkin seat" who used to laugh hysterically when Fritz and I played cards and we would split and shuffle the cards so they made a cracking sound.

She was the toddler who used to call me, "Muzzer," as in my mother telling her,   "wait till your mother gets home...."

But, mostly,  I remember the little girl who liked to sing. 

One of her favorite songs was "Sunrise/Sunset," from "Fiddler on the Roof." I can remember clearly her standing and singing,

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
 
I don't remember grown older
When did they?
 
And then, her favorite part...
 
"Some rise, some sit."

And at that point, she would rise or sit down, depending on where she was in the song.   I can't listen to that song without singing...."some rise, some sit."

Another favorite was from "Annie."  Jenna loved the song, "Tomorrow," and would sing it joyfully.
 
The sun will come out tomorrow
 
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be some,
 
Just thinkin' about tomorrow, clears away the cow webs and the sorrow, til there's numb.  

But my favorite song was one we sang in a church program when Jenna was really, really little.  To me, this song summed up our early life after Bill died:

You and me against the world,
Sometimes it feels like you and me against the world.
When all the other turn their backs and walk away,
You can count on me to stay.

Remember when the circus came to town
And you were frightened by the clown,
Wasn't it nice to be around someone that you knew
Someone who was big and strong and looking out for you.

You and me against the world, sometimes it feels like you and me against the world

And for all the times we've cried, I always felt that God was on our side.

And when one of us is gone,
And one of us is left to carry on,

Then remembering will have to do,

Our memories alone will get us through

Think about the days of me and you,

You and me against the world

(Voice of a young child....)   Sing it again, Mommy

No matter how many times I sang that song to her, she always said, "sing it again, Mommy." 

 

My child is 40 today.  She is a wonderful wife and mother, creative, determined and focused on the well being of her family. 

 

WOW....my child is 40 today.

 

 

C is For....

I am having my colonoscopy on Monday at 12:30.  It has been a long and annoying road to get to this point.  This will be the fourth time the procedure has been scheduled and the bills from the hospital and doctors keep pouring in.  Although, I found out a few days ago that the doctor who saw me in the Emergency Room isn't charging me.  It is apparently part of his practice not to charge employees of the hospital for his services, so for that, I am extremely grateful.

 

I met with the Surgery nurse yesterday and she told me what to expect.   The colonoscopy could take anywhere from 45 minutes to and hour and  a half depending on what they find.  If it is just a routine colonoscopy, I will be in and out in about an hour.  They are looking for a hole in my intestines that may be leaking bacteria into my system.  If they find one, depending on the size, I will have surgery right there to close it up.  If it is too large, I will be scheduled for surgery in the not too distant future (oh boy, more dealing with the insurance company!!) 

 

If they find nothing, I will be monitored for pain and bacterial mass indicators in my body on a routine basis to try and pinpoint the problem.  If they find anything suspicious, (like cancer planting its flag with ugly little bumps)   it will be sent to the lab for biopsy.   If all else fails, I will have exploratory surgery to determine how bacteria is leaking into my system., why and what long or short term damage has  been done.

 

I am not sure of the outcome of Monday, but I am glad to have it behind me.

So, Monday, C is for:

Colonoscopy

Cancer

But most of all, closure

Our Busy Times.....

Did you ever have times in your life when it seemed like one day ran right into the next one?  Like there was no space or time between the passing of night and day, week to week or season to season?   That's how I have felt of late. 

 

I know most of it has to do with my medical stuff and then, there's work, which has been super busy with some of the most crazy people I have ever met.  There are days when I look around to see if someone is "goofing" on me when some of North Carolina's "best" come in for treatment.  The shifts have been long--I've been staying more than an hour after my shift time on some nights due to the volume.  The veteran staff members shake their heads and say, "and it's not even summertime when the real crazies come in."  Makes you wonder.

 

We have had an increase in fish hooks in fingers,  jelly fish bites, falls off of boats onto the pier (yes, alcohol was involved) and a case of sun stroke or two.

 

But, you can see North Carolina coming into its own.  Our yard is full of color, the trees are filling out, the sky is a dark and beautiful blue and there are birds everywhere.   Cardinals, Blue Jays, Mocking Birds, Kill Deer and Hawks that circle endlessly in the sky.  It's peaceful and quiet when I leave the hospital.  The air is fresh and sometimes the moon is just huge in the sky.  And, no matter what month it is, you can be 99% sure that it won't snow. 

 

I have gotten a lot of prayers, good wishes, emails, texts, cards and flowers from people regarding my health.  It is so nice to be thought of and to know that you mean something, no matter how small, to these people.  I hope they know how much I appreciate their efforts.

 

And Mother's Day was nice for me.  David came up from Florida and we went to lunch.  I got cards and artwork from the Cleveland grand-babies and cards and pictures from Tony, Marie, Coleton and Anthony.  David shared one of our "Lanai picnics" and walked around the pool with Tony.  They really want to play the Compass Pointe Golf course with Tony Jr. when it opens. 

I had a great time with David talking about the upcoming wedding.  Brenda sent me photos of dresses she was trying on and it felt like I was right there with her.  She looked great in all of them, but I especially love the one she finally selected.   October 21 can't come fast enough for me.  We are hoping to get to Tampa before the wedding to meet Brenda's parents and check out places for the rehearsal dinner.

 

Tony and David played golf and cornhole and "the old guy" came out on top in every game!   Looks like the Swegle Golf Trophy will be staying in Leland for awhile.   

We celebrated our 27th anniversary on May 12.  What a fun day we had.  We went to Kure Beach (that's Cur-ree to you out of towners!) and walked by the ocean.  We went to a place called "Big Daddy's" and sat outside and shared a glass of wine and an appetizer.  We were going to play putt putt, but they don't open until after Memorial Day, so we headed for dinner at a new place that was so good we will visit again. 

Today is laundry day for me and Tony is working on a new painting.  I love these kinds of days.  Getting things done at a slow pace and not feeling rushed.   Tomorrow, back to work and busy, busy times. 

Take a look at Swegle-life:

Get Well Flowers from Sister In Law, Joyce

Sharing Lanai Picnic With David

He May Be The Old Guy, But He Wins At Golf And Cornhole!!

 

Tony Points out Compass Pointe Expansion

 

 

Turf War!!

 

Bernie's Bed....

Bernie Sits On Dixie's Lanai Couch...and, well...

Dixie Stands Under Her Lanai Couch!!

 

Dixie Under Foot....

Dixie On Her Feet

Love That Face!!

 

 

 

The 3  Guys Golf Trophy....Looks Good In Leland!!

New Flowers By The House

 

Under A Carolina Sky!

 

Our Wonderful Days

You know me.....there's nothing like a picnic in my book.  I love being outside and sharing food and conversation with Tony.  Today, we were going to have another Lanai picnic, but there was a Community Event being held there, so we had to find another place.

On the way to work is a nice park.  It has soccer nets, bocci courts, swings and things to climb on and a nice picnic pavilion.  We decided to go there and take Dixie.

Dixie is not a big "event" dog.  She doesn't care for the beach, she isn't into large parties with lots of noise and fireworks just don't do anything for her.  She is content to camp out under one of the beds in the house, Tony's closet or behind my bedside table.  As long as she has food, water and light, she is OK staying at home.

Well, we took her with us today.  Right away, she started barking at a bird in the trees behind us and wanting to be with the kids playing on the bocci court.  She enjoyed the cheese and chicken she got, but going home was OK with her.

But, Tony and I had a good time.  It's a simple thing that we both enjoy doing.  Call me crazy,  but having an outside picnic takes me away from day to day crap.  I love doing it.

After we got home, I did a quick walk around the backyard and took some pictures of how pretty things are. 

I have been off of work for 4 days and have enjoyed every bit of it.  We went to the Cameron Art Museum and saw an event called, "She Tells A Story," it was a display of 52 female artists works (there should be an apostrophe in there some where!)  and 14 local writers who discussed the works.  I think the best part was at the end, when we saw a film on the restoration of the stage curtain of Thallian Hall.  It's a beautiful piece of work all on its own and very old.  When the theatre was being restored, they actually took the curtain down and rolled wheel barrows and other construction material over it....to them, it was a large drop cloth.  They didn't see the beautiful detail and history that the restoration crew sees now. 

I also enjoyed the work of Virginia Wright Frierson, an American painter, born in 1949.  She did a series of pictures on the "Patchwork of North America."  I was intrigued by the way she worked with light and her subjects.  Seeing her work was like being in my parents car many years ago watching the scenery go by during  a road trip. 

While I was off, we went to Top Sail beach (that's Top Sull to the locals) and stopped at a favorite bar that we will always refer to as "The Pelican."  That is not the real name of the place, but how we remember it.  It's full of wood and windows and has a definite beach feel to it.  The food is good and we met a woman from Ohio and of course, people from New York.  I think we should change the name of North Carolina to Southern New York.

 

I did laundry, cleaned the house, captured dust and in general, got things done.  And,  we managed to have a good time doing other things. 

 

And tomorrow is work...but it's OK...for I have had a wonderful 4 days off.

 

See the fun we had:

 

The Pavilion

 

Dixie, blending in quite well with the sand, on her hind feet barking at a bird

Now that she is established as the owner of the Pavilion, she is happy

 

Beautiful trees in the distance...

Tony and his girl

Me with Tony's girl....I'm not really that wide...I just lost another 4 pounds, but the shirt billows in the air

 

Dixie helps Tony drive....

New Roses

The bird house Tony set up....I want him to paint "Welcome Home" on the front door...he is sure birds can't read.....who knows, for now it is empty...with a little paint...well.....

Our beautiful hostas

 

And the trees that we used to be able to look down on...now taller than we are

Our horse, "Hot to Trot" looks into our neighbor's yard...

Our creed!

 

 

 

 

 

The Kitchen Was Never My Best Room...But I Came By It Honestly

 

I have always admitted that the kitchen was not my best room.  Give me a raw, uncooked chicken, and I must admit, I am stumped as to what I am supposed to do with it.  But, I come by it honestly.

 

My mother was not a good cook.  She was an OK cook.  She had her specialties--fried chicken, potato salad, things like that, but overall she wasn't a good cook.

 

To be fair, she was the first child of two cooks who owned a restaurant in Lakewood.  As I recall, her mother, could make a ham sandwich taste like it came from heaven--but, my mother was stuck at home in Lakewood, taking care of her siblings--Beverly, who was two years younger and Dick and Don, four and five years younger, otherwise known as "the boys..." as in, "take the boys with you...."  "Did you feed the boys....?"  Her "job" was to take care of the kids at home.  She was a mother long before her time and she resented it. 

 

My aunt, Beverly, was a beautiful woman.  She loved opera at a very young age and called the music of the day that my mother listened to, "clanging, like pots and pans."  As I recall, she was "pink."  I saw a picture of her in her youth...she had long brown hair and blue eyes.  She had pink cheeks and a small, pink mouth.  She was breath taking.  My mother, on the hand, had a strong, large nose that she got from her father, mousy hair and angry eyes. 

 

My mother's side of the family was plagued with mental disease, and my aunt Beverly, was a victim.  She lost her mind in her early 20's and spent most of her life in a mental institution. 

 

But, I am missing the point of my blog.   I can cook some things.  Today, Tony and I were going to have ribs, potato salad and deviled eggs--the last two menu items, being "my specialty."

 

Well, I made the potatoes and started to boil the eggs when I heard a "popping" sound and smelled a terrible odor.  Earlier in the day, I put the eggs on the back burner of the stove to get to room temperature.  I filled a pot of water to boil the eggs and put it on the front burner.  After about 20 minutes, I saw eggs exploding and smelled a burnt egg carton.  The pot on the front burner, was silently mocking me, saying, "ha ha, you turned on the wrong burner."  And I did.

 

I realized that I put the egg carton on the back burner of the stove and instead of "lighting" the front burner, I turned the back burner on high.   Oh crap....eggs were exploding all over and the plastic "of sorts" carton was melting on top of the stove.   The smell was unbelievable. 

 

I met Tony on the porch and reminded him that the kitchen was not my best room.  He was kind.  He said he would clean the burner and that all was well.

 

I felt better.   I moved away from the burnt burner and turned my attention to making the deviled eggs.  They were perfect--well, until Tony pointed out that I didn't put paprika on the top of them--I confused paprika with cinnamon.  OK, so, we had burnt deviled eggs with cinnamon....not my best meal...not my best room. 

 

The kitchen has never been my best room...but, I come by it honestly.

 

See the carnage....

 

It started out so simple....take the eggs out of the fridge and let them warm up before boiling...

Oh crap, exploding eggs and a melted egg carton....

...and eggs, stuck in the carton...

 

Yep...those are burned eggs....

...that I pulled out of the carton...

...which exploded on Tony's stove top...yeah....not my best room...

 

 

No wonder I excelled in the work place!!

 

 

 

 

 

Beach Face!

 

Today was our first visit to the beach for the season.  It was wonderful.  There is something magical about sitting in the sun, listening to the waves break against each other and make a hollow churning sound as they splashed deep under the water.

 

The sky was clear, birds were out and it was a truly tranquil time.  It made medical bills, pain and doctors seem like a distant memory. 

 

We had wine and fruit and made a sand foot fort to keep the approaching water out of our territory.  To us, it was a re-run of the historical TV program we watched about Paul Revere.  The water was the red coats and our fort was Concord.  That's another great thing about being at the beach--you can do goofy things like that and it seems normal!!

It was a perfect day for the beach--70 and cool and I hope we many more this season.

A few weeks ago, we went to dinner with our friends from Strongsville, Corinne and Dan Pribula.  Our kids were in high school together and we were all on the Senior High Prom Committee.  Dan and I have absolutely no artistic ability, so while the rest of the committee were drawing, painting, stitching and creating memories for the seniors, Dan and I would be in the kitchen, talking about work and holding up the fridge. We talked for hours about how we were the moral support that held the committee together!

 

It was good to see them again.  We caught up on what our kids are doing and had a nice meal at Chianti South, one of our favorite restaurants.

 

And so, tomorrow, it's back to the real world--working, dealing with sick people and making the same money I did in 1978!  But, I will take memories of the beach with me, like I always do.

 

Blue sky and rolling water

Tony does a water temperature check

...and finds an ancient sea creature!

 

My wine and cigar guy

Playing on the beach

Ignoring the water

 

Bird against the pier

We build our foot fort....

 

The enemy approaches.....

 

Our foot soldiers reinforce the wall

 

We are breached.....our foot soldiers gave way

Beach face....when all is right with the world!

 

 

 

The Swegles and Pribula's at dinner

 

 

 

 

 

Well, We Know What It Isn't....

 

I guess you never really realize what having good health means until you don't have it.  As I have said many times before, I never thought I would live very long...I have also said that I'm the kind of person who doesn't get a headache--I have a stroke.  I don't have a stomach ache--I have appendicitis.   I don't get open wounds when I am bitten by a stray cat--I get a bacterial infection.  If you're going to do, do it big is my motto!

 

Anyway, my insurance company finally approved the second CAT scan and I had it yesterday...but, they only approved 93% of the cost, so the rest is on me.

 

I had the CAT scan yesterday.  It was odd. A moving table, the sound of a hum, holding my breath and feeling a warm sensation when they inserted the dye.  Very odd.

 

We met with my doctor today to review the results and hopefully come up with a diagnosis.  So, we sort of did...we sort of didn't.

 

We know now that it is not a tumor (yippee), it is not a blood clot.  It is not a pool of blood.  I got to see both CAT scans--the one when I was in the hospital and the most recent one.  The original, showed a blurry area on the left side of my body.  It was pretty  big; but you really couldn't see anything that jumped out and said, "hey, I'm a tumor!!"  The results of the one yesterday were different; first, we confirmed that I do indeed, have a heart--just in case anyone was confused, because it was right there on the scan!!  Next, while there was some blurry-ness in the same spot, you could not see a large mass like before. 

 

The doctor is leaning toward me having diverticulitis--little pockets that form outside of the intestines and have the ability to collect "crap" from your system.  If this pocket breaks, or explodes, it can enter your system and act like it does when your appendix breaks.   That would explain the large mass of bacteria, but, the doctor said that the mass I had was "up north" of typical diverticulitis.  So he really isn't sure he can call it that.

 

So, all in all, it's good news, but I am still full of questions.  I have a colonoscopy (yes, Tony, Rose, Donna....I am having one!!)    scheduled for the end of the month.  At that point in time, the doctors will see my body from a different perspective and will be able to tell me if there is a tear in the intestinal wall, if I need to have a section of my colon removed or if colon cancer has started to plant its ugly roots in my body. 

 

It's a hurry up and wait kind of thing, but I know it's not a cancerous tumor and that will allow me to sleep and function. 

 

It's funny, sitting in a doctor's office anticipating bad news.   I had a 2:30 appointment, but did not see the doctor until a bit after 3:00.  During the time in the waiting area, I just looked around.  I translated all of the doctor's names that were printed backwards as you look out the door.  Did you know that Mark backwards is KRAM?  Yep, I was that anxious.  Anything to keep my mind off of what the news may be.

 

I counted 110 ceiling tiles in the office--most of differing sizes.  I saw an anorexic palm tree with the stem being about as big around as my little finger with and all-to- white, wisps of leaves reaching toward the door as you entered.  The chairs were ugly--they sat on a rug with a floral pattern that seemed to be the shadow of the anorexic palm.  A washed out brown with olive shades made up the chair seat and very few of them had two arm rests.  It was uncomfortable to be there; both for the reason and the accommodations. 

 

But, finally we saw the doctor.  He says maybe diverticulitis, but wants to confirm a few things with the colonoscopy.  If they can't figure out what started the bacterial infection, they will have to do exploratory surgery--but that's a long way off.

 

I thank all of you for your prayers and for the Guardian Angels you sent to take care of me.

 

I will keep you posted!