Voting and Valentines

Yesterday, Tony and I went to the Leland Arts Center to participate in early voting.  We know that Elizabeth Warren's numbers are down, but continue to hope that she will rebound.  As Trump's escapades continue to dominate the news, I think we are approaching the, "if not Elizabeth, any Democrat will do," stage--at least I am.  Before, I was thinking, "Bernie is too old and the Butt guy (no pun intended) is too young."  Now, I'm open to any Democratic candidate!

After voting, we went to Bridgewater Wines for a Valentine's Day lunch.  We had a good time chatting with Lillian, one of our favorite servers and picking out some new wines to try. 

We are getting ready for David and Tony Jr to come into town to play golf with Tony and Bob.  It will be nice to have them back home but odd because Brenda, Alex, Marie and the boys aren't coming.  I've gotten used to them being a package deal!  

Our next big event is Tony's birthday on the 24th.  After that it's getting our taxes done (ugh), saying goodbye to Donna and Bob and hello to our parade of guests who will be visiting soon.  

Same as last year, we're just a year older!

Good looking couple!!

The Most Special

Some people say that the last child you have is the most special.  I don't know--I think all kids are special.  But, for Tony and Marie, they certainly have a special little boy in Owen.  

Owen is sweet, funny, inquisitive and still loves food--any kind of food.  He wants to run "with the big dawgs," (his brothers) and hasn't figured out yet that they let him win some of the games that he plays with them.  Silly things make him laugh and he is a dancing machine.

Owen will turn 2 years old on February 10, but we are unable to go to his party, so we went to see him this past weekend.  I wrote him a book called, "Owen Makes A Wish," and Tony did the illustrations.  He seemed to like it and we had a blast doing it. 

Going to the Charlotte Swegle's is always an adventure!  I learned how to play "UNO," and to give Tony a rest break, I took his turn and was the "Monkey In The Middle."  That's a game where one person stands in the middle of two others and the two on the ends throw a ball to each other.  The  middle person tries to catch it and get out of the middle.  Guess what?  I suck at "Monkey In The Middle" and spent quite a bit of time there.  

Coleton, Anthony and I played "Concentration" and "Find the Hidden Treasure," on my phone and tablet.  They are very proficient at games already and very competitive--and loud.  Really, Really loud!

We saw Tony and Marie's new lanai and furniture.  It's beautiful and will give them a great place to hang out when the boys are in bed. Both Tony and Marie are doing well in their careers.  Tony has taken on a more strategic role with Discovery and Marie was recently promoted at GMR Marketing.  It's nice to know that their talents are being recognized and cultivated by their employers. 

While we were in Charlotte, it snowed.  It was kind of nice to see, but cold.  We managed to talk Tony Jr., into coming to Leland in a few weeks for another "3 Men and a Bond," golf tournament as David is coming from Florida to golf with Tony and Bob.  It will be a special time and a good 4-some and I'm sure they will all enjoy themselves.  After that, hopefully, the Swegle men will have some downtown Wilmington drinking/bonding time!  They are all such party animals, I expect that they will be back home by 8:30!  I'm hoping we can "triple portal" and have all of the Swegle households on the big screen TV at one time while "the guys" are here.  

Other than our Charlotte trip, not much is going on.  Donna and Bob will be going back to Cleveland in just 3 weeks.  Boy, did their stay fly by.   I am still looking for a part time job and writing seminars in the area.  Tony will be 73 on February 24 and is still driving for the Disabled Vets and working at the golf course.  I don't know where he gets the energy.  

Since I've jumped into Facebook (in conjunction with Lynn's Grandpad), I am finding that it takes a good bit of time.  I have 22 official "friends" and someone is always posting something that I can comment about.  I have reconnected with many people from previous jobs and am enjoying all of the catching up we are doing. 

It was a nice drive back from Charlotte.  The moon started to rise and we saw it as a big, yellow ball that looked like it was at the end of the highway.  We watched it rise high up in the sky and I got a few interesting pictures of it.  Certainly nothing that could match the beauty of the colors and glow when we first saw it. 

I have attached some pictures of our visit to enjoy. 

No, not a swamp, the moon coming up

And then hiding in the trees

See the funny glow

With rings around it!

Owen hanging out with the big guys

Papa and Owen

Anthony watches mom make a dunk shot in the play room 

Here he is with his Uni-brow!

Papa teaches Coleton about the planets

And far away stars

Mommy flips Owen!

Owen opens his wish book 

And Papa reads it to him 

Owen talks to Papa about the book!

Tony put a ball down the back of Owen's shirt...Owen couldn't find it...

...until Tony moved it to the front of his shirt!!

Ha!  He found it!!

And decides he likes it there!

And as all 8 of the grandchildren have....Owen rides on Papa!

Extremes

Last weekend we were in Lakeland, Florida watching a documentary about empowering women.  This week, we were in Sunset Beach, NC., watching the Super Bowl and the half time show.  

What an exercise in extremes.  Last weekend the message to young women was, "be strong, be independent, be your best and be proud."  The Super Bowl half time message was, "twerk your ass, be lewd with your tongue, show your butt cheeks and climb a stripper pole (with  no hands.)  And if you do all of that, you'll make a lot of money."  

No wonder young girls get confused about careers.  

I enjoyed the Super Bowl.  At last a game that wasn't a close call or slow moving.  I also enjoyed a small part of the half time show.  I loved the beat of the music, the fireworks, J Lo's daughter singing (although, at 11, should she have been on stage with her mother when her mother was showing her ass,) and I enjoyed all of the energy put forth by the dancers.  You have to be in great shape to keep up the pace that they did.   I just didn't think the movements and dress were very classy.  It was trashy.  

I'm afraid I'm starting to sound like all of our mothers used to when they lectured us on appropriate behavior.  I love to dance and in years gone by, I could shake my "bootie" with the best of them--but I can't remember a time when just my ass rotated up, down, left and right to the sound and metric of a drum at high speed while the skimpy fringe of my skirt jumped up and down.  OK, I'm old and I admit it. 

We stayed in Sunset Beach with Donna and Bob to watch the game and the next day went to the beach.  It was such a pretty day.  The temperature was in the mid-60's, but by the water was a bit colder.  The sound of the ocean waves hitting the beach was like a lullaby of white noise and the sky had wispy clouds that changed shapes when the wind blew.  I saw a cloud go from a human skull to a pirate's sword and then onto thin ribbons.  

Bob loves to tease the sea gulls so he brought bread with him.  At one point, we had more than 50 birds waiting for him to throw some food.   Was it just an accident that he kept throwing the food up in the air in the direction that Donna was sitting?  As the birds hovered in the air, we could see their clean white bodies and their webbed feet tucked up against their tails.  We were all on "bird poop watch," but lucked out and came away clean.  

Tomorrow is golf for the guys and a trip downtown for the women, after we get our pedicures!  We always have such fun with Donna and Bob.  

Check out our bird adventure: Incoming!!

Just Fly

We went to Florida to see the premier of the documentary, "Fly Like A Girl."  With the "Me Too Movement," the Weinstein trial and the release of the movie, "Bombshell,"  it seemed fitting to see a film about strong women.   I cheer strong women and always have, but there was a sadness to the film that could be felt by every woman in the audience who has been told, "No, you can't, you're a woman."   This was more than mental and physical discrimination.  This was  a perverse mindset.  

I was especially affected by the way women who were being trained to fly to assist the military during World War II were treated.  They were there to help.  To free up military men for priority assignments.  And yet, there were men who refused to teach these women how to fly.  Some men spoke about the women pilots like they were the enemy.  And, at least one woman pilot was killed in a crash because someone put sugar in her plane's gas tank.  Why?  Because a man felt threatened?  Because the pilot wasn't doing what society expected of her?  Because the sky belongs to men?  It's senseless.  And it's sad. 

There were high points--the Marine who flew in and saved a downed crew when she had limited fuel and ammunition was a show stopper.  She actually met one of the crew men in a hospital who thanked her for saving his life.

It was inspiring to see so many women who didn't take "no" for an answer.  To watch them do what they love and what they are good at despite barriers and attitudes was the heart of the film.  

I hope that when our granddaughters find their passions--no matter what they are, that they are encouraged and supported by all segments of society and especially, their own family.  I hope that one day we don't need a documentary for young girls and young women to know that they can achieve their dreams and fly as high as they dare in any arena.  One day I want people to just fly.  Not like a man, not like a woman, not like a girl.  Just fly if that's what they want to do.    That has been my hope since 1970.  Now, if I can just live long enough to see it really happen. 

And, speaking of granddaughters.....on a lighter note, we got to spend time with Alex.  Oh, what an amazing little thing she is.  She loves puzzles and Legos.   She has a Lego frog and I took the head apart and put the eyes of the frog in sideways.   She told me that I had done it wrong because now the frog couldn't see.  She fixed the eyes and told the frog he was "All Better!"   She kept froggy away from me after that!

She has memorized at least 10 songs; many of them in English and Spanish.  She runs laps around the living room, builds castles out of wooden blocks, kicks a soccer ball and loves to read.  New Year's Eve made a big impression on her!  She will count backward from 10 and when she gets to one, she yells, "Happy New Year!!"  Then, she puts her fingers to her lips and makes a sound like a party favor.  

Her speech has matured and so have her reasoning skills.  At 2, she is independent--well, as independent as she can be, but she knows her own mind.  She is 90% potty trained and she has expanded her vocabulary to include feelings.  She will ask you how you are, how is your day and will compliment you by telling you that you are smart or beautiful when you tell her she is.   Alex and I were sitting in the kitchen yesterday, she was eating and Brenda was getting ready for work.  I told her to be kind to people at school and she said, "Momo, YOU have to be kind too."  I asked her who I should be kind to and she thought for a few seconds and said, "Papa!"  I told you she was smart!

We had such a good time with David and Brenda as well as Alex.  They took us to a great restaurant called, "Nineteen 61."  The food was fantastic and they had a good variety of things on the menu. 

We played corn hole, although, like golf, I don't think how I played could be called "playing" corn hole. It was more like "aiming at the impossible."   In two different matches, I scored 1 point.  Just one--not one per game, just one point.  David and Tony scored in the high 50's and Brenda wasn't far behind.   But it was fun.

The lanai addition that they put on has added a huge amount of floor space to enjoy.   Right now, it's a work in progress; they have the tile for the floor picked out and some furniture, so once it's finished it will be great to sit outside, but be protected. 

We look forward to the next time we see the "Lakeland Swegle's!"  Look at that little face!

A happy Papa, Alex and "froggy" on the couch, with his eyes fixed

Alex is always smiling 

Enjoying the lanai

Papa with Betty.  Don't show this picture to Dixie!

Lost in thought

Getting ready to share the hammock with Daddy

High Fiving Papa

A Beautiful Face

Getting Ready to Catch Pooh Bear

This Is Me

The new year is a good time to take stock in ourselves.  I find that the question, "since you retired, what have you accomplished" has been haunting me so much that I decided to figure out exactly what I did do last year and since I retired (November 3, 2018.) 

Here goes:  I spent endless hours at doctor's appointments for a variety of "stuff," including driving 40 minutes 3 times a week to spend 60 seconds in a "light box" for my skin treatments. 

I had ultra sounds, stress tests, blood tests, X-rays, nuclear scans and a plethora of diagnostic tests to see "what if" to figure out why I couldn't walk more than 200 yards without needing oxygen or water or to decide what to do about nodules on my thyroid and lung.  Thank God for handicap stickers.  

I helped a Novant volunteer write his college essays and scholarship pieces.  He successfully got into the college of his choice, with two scholarships. 

I helped our niece, Shannon, with her resume and interviewing skills so she could land her "dream" job.  And she did!!

I helped our niece, Sarah with her resume and cover letter as she, too, is looking for a new career.  

I attempted to  help our nephew with his depression, that so mirrors my own.  He makes small steps every day; hopefully based on some of  the discussions we had and the time he spent with us. I believe he is starting to see a crack of daylight in the dark fog of depression. 

I helped a Novant co-worker with her Business Organization project for college. She got one of the highest grades in the class!

I met a server at Applebee's and encouraged her get out of an abusive relationship.   She wears a necklace I got her that says she can soar to the greatest of heights by just trying and spreading her wings. That pleases me. She is out of the relationship and has a new job.   

I reconnected with two old and dear friends; Pat and Joyce.  Both have had hardships this past year and I hope I have helped to soften the blows that they have received. 

I started going to church with a new friend, Carol (but have since decided to sleep in on Sunday's.  I'm used to much better preaching!)  I'm hoping she will realize what strength she has within her from our talks and interaction.  

I researched and found our new car, online.  Tony loves it.  You can see it in his face when he is behind the wheel and I am pleased that I was able to give him some help.  

I read 14 books. Some text books from college, some from my therapist, some from Novant management, some for fun, some for information and some, just because.

I attended a writer's workshop at UNCW.  It woke my soul.  

I made email contact with one of the organizers of the writer's workshop who also writes for various local magazines, in an effort to get him to review some of my work.  (This is an ongoing, frustrating process.)

I submitted an article to "Live Out Loud," magazine.  (No response.)

I submitted the same article to AARP Magazine.  (No response.) 

I submitted the same article to Salt Magazine.  (No response.)  I guess the article isn't very good!

I submitted two writing contest entries to the "Write By Night," online writing group, of which I am a member.

I found an online yoga instructor and have tried to get back into the swing of yoga.  This, too, is an ongoing, frustrating process--I just don't bend the way I used to.

I spent many happy hours finding beautiful outfits for Alex to display at daycare and other avenues of her adventures!  She makes all of the clothes we get her look so good!

I wrote a book for Alex and then for Owen.  Something that pleased me greatly.  

I got a new camera (Thank you, Tony,) and took some new and really good photos.  This is a passion I need to shift my focus to, because I really enjoy it. 

I researched and bought new lanai furniture which Tony, Dixie and I enjoy every evening.  Being there is a perfect way to end the day. 

I became a registered North Carolina voter.  This is something that I haven't been since the '80's.  But I am now and I hope to use my vote wisely to support the next Democratic presidential candidate.  

I rested my head.  This sounds silly, especially after 67+ years, but when you think of being married at 20, being a mother at 24, being widowed 72 days after giving birth, losing your husband, your home,  your dog, your life, your entire existence in a few short months, it makes sense. 

I never had the time to rest when Bill died.  I went from being a grieving widow to moving, working, finding a new place to live and finding a new life all in a very short period of time.  I was tired.  I was so tired.  Even after Tony and I got married 11 years later, I was tired.  I was running.  Promoting my career to make more money.  Going back to school.  Being a whole new person.

Being retired was the first time I had to just be.  To not worry about helping to put food on the table, keeping my job, being an adequate parent, being a wife that meets expectations.  Running--always running to keep up.  And not doing a very good job of it.  Always knowing that there was something out there that I didn't do well, didn't do enough.  Didn't do.  I rested my head.  Sometimes I didn't like the decisions I made, sometimes I just lived with them.  Sometimes the decisions just lived with me.   

And so,  that is my year of "accomplishments."  Pretty poor if you are looking for books to be published or goals to be surpassed.  I did none of these, but I think, in some small way, I made a difference.  At least I hope I did.  

One of my favorite movies is, "The Greatest Showman." I love the story, I love the music.  One of the songs from that show is called, "This Is Me."  The song of misfits.  Part of it says:

"I am who I'm meant to be.  I make no apologies, this is me."  

"Me" isn't always a pretty picture.  I spent way too much time watching Dr. Phil, playing computer games and drinking wine.  I escaped.  And, for much of that, I wish I could change the time I spent.  But I can't.  I did what I needed to do at the time.  

I can't make apologies.  They would be hollow.  I probably didn't accomplish what I could have in 2019, but this is who I'm meant to be.  I helped where I could.  I learned when I had the opportunity.  I tried.  God knows I tried.  

  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIXIE!!

Everyone is growing up!   The Purdum kids, the Charlotte Swegle's and Alex.  It goes so fast. 

And now, Dixie is 7 years old today.  Just like a mother coming home from the hospital with her newborn,  I remember the day we picked up Dixie and brought her home.  She settled right in and made herself comfortable, sleeping on Tony's legs--something she still does.  We watched her every move, we watched her sleep.  

She was a tiny little thing.  I could pick her up from the floor with one hand.  She couldn't get up the stairs to the studio but she could walk around in her cage.  

She has brought us such joy and laughter.  She's smart, funny, has her own routine and has us very well trained. 

Happy Birthday, Dixie...and many more.

Here's our baby:

Settling into her new home

Our baby

Resting

Loving

Sleeping

Just Being Cute!

At the breeder's, her head was smaller than the tennis ball

So comfortable

Visiting

After a day at the Spa!

Still laying on Tony's legs--since day 1

Helping Daddy with his birthday gift

Resting at Hilton Head

With New Toys

She's traded her bed for ours

What's Fair?

The rape trial that started the "Me Too," movement is scheduled to start next week and the defense lawyer is concerned that her client, Harvey Weinstein, won't get a fair trial because of all of the negative publicity surrounding the case, including the movement. 

Aw, poor Harvey.  I wonder if it has occurred to him that "Me Too," wouldn't  have happened if he didn't use his power and  take advantage of women.  What he is accused of wasn't fair to the women bringing charges.  But, I guess that what is not fair for women isn't as important as what is not fair for Harvey. 

A month or so ago, I saw the film clip of the female newscaster who was on air covering a race when a male runner came up behind her and slapped her on the butt.  She was visibly upset and actually stopped the broadcast for a minute to get her composure back.    There she was, just doing her job, and some random guy decides he had the right to slap her butt--the right to touch her body.  This has bothered me for quite awhile.  Why do some men think they have the right to impose their will on women?  Why do they think it's OK to touch a woman just because they want to?  

The runner turned out to be a youth minister and boy scout leader.  I'm not sure if he still holds those positions, but I'm really sure I would not want him in a position of authority teaching my sons anything.   A boy scout leader?  Really?    

Tony and I talked about it and he said it was a power thing.  But, what "power" did this runner  have?  None.  Maybe he wanted his face on TV for a few seconds, who knows?  But, apparently in his mind, he had the right to slap this woman on the butt.  That's different than power.   

Last week, we saw the movie, "Bombshell," about the Fox News executive, Roger Ailes, who is accused of sexual harassment of 23 known victims.  In the  movie if a woman said no to his advances she would  be demoted or even fired.  What gave him "the right?"  Power?  A penis?  Please.  How about a sense of superiority?

Where and when will it end?  What has to happen so that these type of men understand that not every woman in the world is infatuated with their penis?  When is it going to dawn on men who use their penis like a weapon that this is not acceptable?  It can't be soon enough.     

I am too old now to be sexually harassed in the workplace, but I am afraid for Ellie, Alex and Emma.  Will this mindset still be an issue when they enter the workforce?   Will this perceived "right" to touch a woman still be prevalent?  I hope not.  But, I also hoped that the gender wage gap would disappear by the time Jenna was working and that didn't happen.  

I'm glad women have started to end the silence on unwanted sexual advances by  "power players."  I hope they continue to use their voices and the legal system to send the message that no one has the right to touch a woman for their own pleasure or purpose without her consent.  I hope Harvey gets convicted and goes to prison.  Maybe there he will experience what he did to the women accusing him of rape.

I wonder how he will react?  I wonder how he will deal with the prison "power players" when he is down on his knees.    Will he say, "that's not fair?"  Will he say, "stop."

Maybe, but I'm guessing they won't stop just like he didn't.  Oddly enough, that to me seems fair.