Visiting

 

We went to Charlotte on Wednesday to see Tony, Marie and the boys.  They got a  new dog, Cheyanne.  She's a two year old Boxer and reminds us all of Tyson, Tony's first Boxer.  We took Dixie with us and when she and Cheyanne first met, all was well.  Then, suddenly, Cheyanne, started to growl and got Dixie in her mouth.  I'm not sure who was  more surprised, Dixie, Tony or me.  Tony Jr., managed to release Dixie and Cheyanne spent the rest of the day in her cage.  Dixie was OK, but apparently so traumatized, that she pooped on the kitchen floor.  

Other than that, it was a nice visit.  Coleton, who is 11, had some really good conversations with us about sports and school.  Anthony, was goofy as always and made us laugh.  Owen is speaking a lot better and is really into video games. He talks to the characters.

We had burgers and got gifts and then headed home since Tony had to work on Thursday.  

We did a face time on Christmas day with David, Brenda and the girls.  That was fun.  Alex got a whoopie cushion for Christmas and showed us how it "farted."  

Brenda is going to send us a link to log into so we can actually see her in court this weekend.  She won't see us or  hear us, but we will be able to see her on the bench.  I can't wait.  I'm sure she will be as impressive as always. 

The first edition of the Carolina Dunes newsletter will be out in January.  I am the writer and editor.  I'm already working on February and having fun doing so. 

I work this weekend, the last 6:30 a.m. shift.  As of January 1, we go to 7:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., it doesn't seem like much of a change, but I will be able to sleep till 6 and not have to get up at 5 in the morning. 

We are having a birthday party for Dixie, she will be 11 on January 6. And then, it will be time for Donna and Bob to come down.  Our years have a cycle to them and we are comfortable with that. 

I'm not sure what the new year will bring, but I hope everyone stays healthy and happy. 

Christmas Parties

 

Well, it seems like everything is back to normal.  David and Brenda and the girls came in and cooked us a wonderful Thanksgiving meal.  There haven't been anymore riots at work and all in all, I have settled into a "same ole, same ole" routine--and don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. 

Tony's health remains good and he is active.  He played golf on Monday and is working at the golf course again.  So the sizeable blip on the radar screen of health concerns have subsided a bit.

And so now we enter into our Christmas cycle.  It will be small for us, as usual but we will just enjoy being together.  With Dixie, of course.  

Tony has started to clean out the attic and do other "get ready for end of life" stuff, but not in fear, and not in haste to go, but so me and the boys don't have to.  That is so like him to take care of us; no matter what.

Geez, that sounds creepy, but it isn't meant to be.  

The golf course where Tony works had their Christmas party on Monday--and so did the place where I work, so I missed it, but I think they had a good time.  On the 16th, we will attend the Cape Fear Voices Christmas party at a restaurant in downtown Wilmington, and of course, the Leland Magazine Christmas party is being held on the same day, but there's only so many parties you can go to!

The golf course party was beautiful.  They had it in the new clubhouse that they built and this was the first time I had been inside.  It is massive and first class, all the way.  There are several dining area, a huge, wrap around bar that is lit from underneath and all glass walls.  You can see the course and various ponds from anywhere in the place.  It was decorated to the hilt and we had a wonderful time. 

I am writing the facility newsletter now and getting paid extra to do it.  So I have three writing jobs that bring me fun, pleasure and money!  

Not much else going on.  I assume we will be taking our Charlotte Swegle's visit after Christmas and before you know it, Donna and Bob will be back down for two months. 

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year. 

A Time of Fear

I admit, there are things that scare me.  Car accidents, medical bills, losing people I love.  All of that, but yesterday I was scared and it had nothing to do with all of the above. 

I work in a hospital that mainly takes care of teen agers with mental problems.  We have 7 units and they are all not open to visitors without a key.  At around 9:30 a.m., I heard screaming from residents of 3 of our units.  I listened to the walkie talkie but all of a sudden, it went silent. 

About 5 minutes later, one of our nurses came into the lobby and told me to activate the main door opening function.  When I did, 5 police people came running in, all in riot gear.  I quickly asked what was happening and was informed that the makings of a  riot were underway.  

It was a riot, indeed.  It started out as a  fight and escalated to things being broken, doors being kicked in and nurses being hurt.   In all, we had 13 police cars, 20 police personnel, and 2 sheriffs responding to our call.  They shut down the facility and restrained many of the residents.  

My role, as a front line person was to open the door for the police and then open the door to the units that were in distress.  I realized as I opened that door, that they were in riot gear and I was not.  It crossed my mind that there was a small level of danger here, but when all of this is happening, you just put that to the back of your mind.    

After it was all over, I heard members of the team calling out to front line nurses asking if they were OK.  If the nurse didn't answer right away, someone went looking for them.  

I could hear the children--they were angry, I'm not sure about what, but they were a force that had no name, just a mission--to cause as much damage as they could.  

Our front line nurses did what they could, one or two being slightly injured as a result.  Our CEO came in and led the police to the areas in chaos and the nurses were glad about that.  It gave them some level of comfort to know that they were not alone.  

It was over in an hour or so, but time seemed to stand still.  The "children" went back to being residents, the nurses went back to doing their job.  The police left in small groups and all was quiet.   

I went home and watched the 2nd half of a football  game.  I ate dinner.  I did a load of laundry.  But when I crawled into bed, I was shaking and afraid.  The "What If's" were consuming my mind.  It was a time of fear in the day and in my mind.  What has happened to the world that we now have to be afraid of children?  I wish I knew.  I wish I could fix it.  But I can't.  

This is a place that takes good care of children in need.  It changes lives.  Why should the nurses and front line staff experience a time of fear?  All good questions, but questions that could be asked about so many things happening in the world. 

We should never reach for violence first.  But, we do.  We should never aim to hurt others.  But we do.  When will it stop?  When will we live and let live?

As Time Goes By

Every time I look at the last time I posted here, I am amazed by the time that has gone by.   The year is almost over and I don't remember half of it.   I think that much of that has to do with Tony's heart thing that started in August.  He just went for a TEE test, which is basically swallowing a small camera (he was put under) to see if there were blood clots behind his heart. I remember having this test right after I had my stroke and believe me, the recovery was not fun.  I had a sore throat for days.  But, Tony seems to have sailed right through it.  No clots, they just had to shock him back into rhythm.  

David, Brenda and the girls will be here for Thanksgiving.  Brenda is cooking this year.  We will be decorating the tree right after dinner so I am looking forward to that.  I got two new ornaments for them to put on the tree.  David and Tony will be playing golf.  I'm not excited about that, but his doctor said OK, so I am keeping my concern to myself (well, for the most part, anyway.)

I am picking up shifts at work.  I love the money, but not the time.  My usual shift is every other Saturday and Sunday from 6:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.   Due to staff shortages, they need night coverage which goes till 11:00 p.m.  I told them I couldn't do that, but if it would help, I could cover from 2:30 till 9:30.  We will see.

I am slowly getting used to not having my own car.  I stopped using the seat belt in Tony's car when I drive.  I hate seat belts.  I keep thinking that I'll have an accident and the damn thing will decapitate me.   I can't get used to the rear camera.  I know it's there and I use it when I drive into the garage to see if I have cleared the door, but when I am out, I don't even think about it.   I never had one, so I don't rely on it.  I haven't used the GPS in it either, but I think that will be coming shortly. 

The weather has been getting more and more chilly.  The evenings are crisp and such a relief from those 98+ degree days.  I even watched a Christmas movie on TV the other night.  Must be the weather!

I have started to work on the Cape Fear Voices Awards Banquet again.  It will be April 20 next year.  We've hired the food vendor and the entertainment and we know where we are having it.  So the big stuff is done.  I wrote a story about going home in October that has been very well received.  It is in the top 5 for this month and I received several very nice comments about it.  One man said it was like reading a movie!!  

Dixie will be 11 in January (the 6th) but shows no signs of slowing down.  Oh yeah, she's sleeping more during the day, but can still "toe bite" me and give me a run for my money.  We are so lucky to have her.  She and Tony are still very connected.  He texted me at 3:16 today that he was leaving work.  I told him I knew that because Dixie had been in the laundry room, in front of the garage door barking since 3:10, so I know she was looking for him.   Good that he speaks dog and she speaks daddy.  

Not much else going on.  I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving shared by family and friends. 

 

Back Home

Our trip to Cleveland was both fun and sad.  We did not get to see Jenna's kids and that just broke my heart.  In all of the letters we have sent back and forth this year, all of the kids have said that they couldn't wait  until we visited and could see them.   It just didn't work out from a scheduling perspective.  Maybe next year. 

Our Neighbor lunch was a fun time.  Only one person couldn't make it this year.   We went to Fast Eddie's in Parma.  Good food and a separate room for us to eat in.  We all looked older, but still had a good time.  

Staying with Sarah and Steven was fun.  They got a new dog, Ollie, and he was a bundle of energy.  

And so, we are home.  Tony has gone to two heart appointments and everything seems to be OK, although they said he had two AFIB episodes since he has had the pacemaker in.    He went back to work on Thursday, but it was pouring rain so 80% of the golfers cancelled and he came home soaking wet.  

I am working this weekend and next since I was off to go to Cleveland.  I have also started to work on the Awards Banquet for Cape Fear Voices and Teen Scene for next year (CFVTS.org.)  The theme is Stary, Stary Night.  It's a lot of work, but I enjoy doing it.  Gerald is more active this year than last and that will help. 

We have had to turn on the fireplace in the mornings as it has been 47 or so degrees.  It's nice to have it on for a bit and then turn it off as the day gets going.  I can't believe it's almost the end of the year. 

David and Brenda and family will be here again for Thanksgiving.  That will be nice.  We will decorate the Christmas tree on the lanai again this year with the girls.  That, too, is a lot of work, but it's so much fun to watch them putting ornaments on and watching for the lights.  David and Tony hope to play golf while they are here.  According to Tony's doctors, he can do that now.  For awhile, he was not able to raise his left arm over his head or lift anything heavy.  The swelling hasn't totally gone yet, but he is pleased with the healing process.

I am adjusting to life with one car.  It's not the same as having my Toyota, but I get from point A to B when I need to.    

So, that's life in our fast lane.  Not so fast anymore, but comfortable.  I miss seeing the kids this year, but hopefully, 2024 will be different. 

Getting Excited

We leave for Cleveland on Sunday, October 1.  Hopefully we will get to see the kids.  Tony and Jenna have  been texting back and forth about schedules and after school activities.  We may  have to see them one or two at a time--and that's OK, as long as we get to see them. 

We have some other fun things planned.  I'm looking forward to Neighbor Lunch.  There will be around 12 of us there and we have had a great time the last two times we got together.  I'm supposed to look for old pictures to bring with me.  

In other news, Tony had another echo cardiogram today and the fluid that has been surrounding his heart and concerning his doctor has subsided a bit, so that's good news.  He doesn't have to go back for another echo for two weeks. 

I have been so worried about him.  He doesn't have the energy he once did--oh I know, he's 76, but he was never one to sit and read.  He was always up doing something.  But, he does now and that's OK, as long as he feeling well. 

Also, we are staying with Sarah and Steven, so that should be fun.  They got a new dog, Ollie and so did Fritz, Teddy.  So I will be sure to stock up on allergy pills before I go.  

I sold my  car last week and I really  miss it.  I miss the freedom of jumping up and going where I need to.  It had 147,000 miles on it and the air conditioner went out, so it was time, but I still wish I had it. 

I'm doing the company newsletter now for Carolina Dunes.  And, I'm getting paid to do it, so that's good.  I am feeling more comfortable there as time goes by.  More people are talking to me and remembering my name.  I only work 4 days a month, so it was hard to keep me straight with all of the other receptionists.  But, the doctor's are nice and so are the Unit Directors.  Everyone is, really.  

I find my old friend, depression, is with  me more frequently.  I know it is stress related because of Tony and probably my car, but I can't seem to shake it.  I am spending more time in the office with the door shut.  I just can't seem to get out of the chair again.  Everything feels heavy.  My arms, my legs, my head.  I hope the trip to Cleveland changes some of that. 

Hopefully, in a week, I will be blogging about the great time we had seeing the kids and other family members.  I will try very hard to be positive.  I will try very hard to be present.  We shall see. 

This was from our first neighbor lunch, 2 years ago

In back:  Earl Melvin, Fritz, Peggy Szabo, Ralph Szabo

Sitting:  Lynn, Me, Gail O'Dell

Rough Spot

 I guess I shouldn't complain that we seem to be going through a rough spot of late.  We have had it so good for so long.  Tony has another doctor's appointment tomorrow for another echo cardiogram.  The last one (they did last week) showed fluid around his heart again and while they were not concerned over the amount, they want to do another echo just to check it. 

He has a home monitor and I find the blue light that is on the front of it very comforting.  It illuminates the bedroom so if we get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, it guides us there and back.  I look at it as a beacon of hope.  Maybe as a Star Trek beam that has Tony in its sites and is keeping him safe.  I have come to be very fond of that machine.  It tracks his heart activity and sends reports directly to his doctor.  If there is a problem, they call him and give us direction as to what we need to do to keep him safe and alive.

I see him being consumed with the depression that I have had for so many years.  It's like Tony is here, but only 75% of him.  The other 25% worries, stares off into space and doesn't sleep well.   

It's hard for me and for the boys, too (Jenna hasn't weighed in) to see him this way.  He was always the rock--always the fixer and do-er.   Always the guy with the answers to the problems.  Strong and independent.  I watched him chop wood once when we lived in Strongsville.  He was wearing blue jeans, no shirt and boots.  His strong arms swung that ax with gusto and precision and then he stacked the wood.  I don't even think he broke a sweat.  I always told the boys, "don't confuse stature with strength," for while Tony maybe only 5'8", his strength was always boundless.  Personally, I think a lot of the neighborhood ladies were secretly watching him chop that wood.  It was a sight to behold!!

And now, we have moved to a different place in our lives.  I listen to him breathe.  Neither one of us sleeps well.   You can see the shape of the pacemaker in his chest.  It hasn't settled into the muscle yet, so it is swollen and visible.  

I find it odd, that this man, who has such a big heart, is struggling with it.  Heart problems should be the last thing on the list that could hurt Tony.  He protects bugs and animals, he helps people, he drove disable veterans to their doctor's appointments, he encourages the lady golfers when he works at the golf course.  He is friendly to everyone--you know my old saying...."everyone loves Tony, I am an acquired taste."  And as well I should be.  No one is more kind than Tony to people he knows and to strangers.  

We are going through a rough spot.  But we are going through it together.